


Oki Doki Dokis

by LupaVonWolf



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/F, Hemophilia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sex Toys, Spin the Bottle, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Truth or Dare, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-06-24 06:45:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LupaVonWolf/pseuds/LupaVonWolf
Summary: Monika invites the girls over to her place for the weekend. She plans a full weekend of watching movies, playing games, and doing each other's hair!





	1. Why Does This Oaf Think He Can Have Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This fanfiction is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed.

Finally, just two minutes to go until the end of the day. Two minutes until my club mates and I can head to our safe haven from the school: The Literature Club. I thought that literature was a bold thing to make a club out of. It's a very subtle concept that doesn't catch the attention of many people, so thankfully everyone that’s joined so far has been serious about this passion and about each other. As I get lost in my thoughts about the club, I almost miss the bell ringing to alert me to leave.

I don't dislike my last period. It's generally pretty boring being just a study hall, but sometimes you meet some interesting people.  
“Hey, Monika!” The masculine voice echoed through my ears as I pack up my various stationery into my bag for the day. I turn to find the source of the voice, hoping it's one of my friends, or at least someone I know.

Of course I wouldn't be that lucky. “Hey.” Pretty standard, but kind of off-putting to some. I've seen this guy around, but never met him formally before. He always gave me weird vibes so I always avoided prolonged exposure to him.

“Hey, so.... Today’s Friday.” Yes it is. So what? “I was hoping that maybe you'd be free tonight. Maybe we can get something to eat later? After the football game, or something.” He starts nervously playing with the hem of his shirt. Isn't that supposed to be tucked in?

I raise an eyebrow at the guy. What was his name again? James? I try to hide my obvious confusion and straighten my face to be more pleasant. “O-Oh.... I'm sorry, I'm actually really busy tonight. I have my club, then I'm hanging out with some friends.” Nailed it.

He looks at me with blatant confusion and a small bit of disgust. “You can't just blow your friends off this once? I mean, clubs are everyday events. It's not like you'd really be missing much.” He crosses his arms and stiffens his posture. I have to keep from physically rolling my eyes at his 'alpha-male' display.

“I'm sorry. I'm the president of my club and I care about my friends dearly. I can't just blow them off last minute as if they don't matter.” I immediately regret my words; not because they're untrue, but because I knew how he's going to swing this back around on me. I prepare myself for the tsunami of abuse to come at me and take a step backwards.

“So I don't matter then?” This time I actually do roll my eyes, but it seems to go unnoticed by the man standing in front of me. “I guess I'm just chopped liver like all the other guys at this school that asked you out.”

I look up at the clock and wince at how much time is being wasted by this guy. “Again, I'm sorry. I have to go now. My club members are waiting for me.” I turn around and start to walk off before I feel something firm around my wrist. I look over my shoulder to the assailant behind me. His face is bright red and his eyes have turned dark.

“Why?” He’s lowered his voice to be more intimidating to me, but I refuse to show any intimidation to him.

“There's several reasons why, but at this point I don't have the time to explain all of them to you. Let go of my wrist. I'm late to my meeting.” At this point I'm staring him down and I feel myself stiffen at his contact. He reluctantly releases my wrist and takes a few steps back. I give him a final quick stare before exiting the room.

I hope my club members aren't too upset with me being late to the meeting. I decide to avoid telling them about the odd encounter that just transpired, but rather to tell them that I got busy chatting with someone. As I enter the club room I quickly shut the door behind me, still feeling uneasy. Thankfully the familiar room helps me to relax and get back into my usual frame of mind. I sneak to my usual desk to sit my things down. I look around to scope out the area. Yuri is reading her book, Natsuki is looking for her manga, and Sayori is helping her. Everything is as it should be.

I begin my search for my favorite pen. I could've sworn I put it into the side pocket of my bookbag.... So where is it? I go through the task of discreetly tearing apart my bookbag to find it. It's not that I absolutely need it, but I always feel a little more whole when I have it with me. I have another at home, so I don't _need_ this one, I just hate to lose things.

Dammit. It's lost.

I start to put everything back in its place so we can finally get started with our club activities where there's a knock at the door. I quickly scan the room to make sure everyone is accounted for again.

Everyone is here, so I wonder who could be at the door. I move to reach for the handle before the door swings in, narrowly missing me.

My eyes quickly meet with the intruder’s, they appear to be a dark blue with black rings around the irises. “You forgot your pen.” He reaches out to hand me the pen in his hand.

I step back to get a better view of the man standing in front of me. It’s Jeremy again. “Thank you, Josh.” I reach my hand out to take the pen he’s offering. He pulls back slightly.

He looks at me with a somewhat offended look on his face. “So, this is the club? Not much of a party area, is it?” I can feel the condescension in his voice. He leans against the door frame and stares at me. He plays with the pen almost nervously as he waits for my answer.

“None of us enjoy big groups. We’re all here to create and appreciate literature, not to party. Can I have my pen back now?” I cross my arms and wait for him to hand me my pen for real this time.

“But if I do that then I'll have to leave.” No shit.

“This room is for the club and its members. If we don't perform some kind club activity every day, we get shut down. As it stands, we’re behind on today’s activity.”

He rubs his face in contemplation. “Ok, I'll do it.” What?

“What?” I furrow my brows, knowing that this isn't going to go in my favor.

He smiles slyly at me. “I'm joining your club. What's the activity for today?” He pushes past me and sets his belongings in the desk in front of mine.

I still never got my pen from him. I can feel my face turning several shades of red and my teeth start to grit together. “We’re discussing pieces of literature that we find impactful in our lives. Natsuki was just about to get us started.” I slink past him to get to my belongings. As I move past, I gingerly take my pen that has thrown on the desk.

“I-I am? I'm starting?” I look at the pink haired member and she stares back with confusion.

Right, I usually start with Yuri. “You're first Natsuki. You wanted to discuss your manga? What was it called again.... Citrus! There we go. Take it away!” I know I'm acting strange, but at this point I'm not sure how to fix it until Jedidiah leaves. I figure moving away from him is the first step so I grab my bag and set it in the middle of the other girls.

“.... I don't wanna start. He's just gonna make fun of me!” Natsuki folds her arms and pouts at being called to go first. Her face is a bright crimson and I can tell that she's gritting her teeth.

I look over to Sayori who appears to be uncomfortable with our ‘new member’. I know she’d still start if asked, but I'm not going to do that. I look into her further because it’s unusual for her to be uncomfortable with anyone, especially new people.

I decide to take the reins and be the start, rather than the end. “The piece I've chosen is called ‘Brave New World’. It's about a future where everyone is created in labs to be a part of certain social classes. The main character is an Alpha who tries to work for dismantling the system so people can be born naturally if they choose, and so people aren't born into these classes without the hope of change.” The entire time I'm speaking I can feel a pair of eyes boring holes into my back. “I feel that this is insightful giving that we, as people, are working on genetic alterations in our offspring as we speak. We can choose eye colors and the sex of the child as of now. There's no telling where things will end up in the future, but I think this book is a pretty good manual of what _not_ to do.” The girls clap after I finish my mini speech. “Any volunteers to go next?”

To my dismay, but not to my surprise, no one stands up. I steal a quick glance to the clock and I almost sigh in frustration. Jake’s shenanigans cost me almost all of my time.

“.... It seems like we’re almost out of time, but don't worry! We’ll pick this up tomorrow.” I try to think of a way to salvage this day, but it's just not coming to me.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday, Moni.” I turn toward Sayori, who has a mixture of confusion and concern mixed on her face. She was absolutely correct. “Are you feeling ok, Madam President?”

I smile to myself at her nickname. “Of course! I'm feeling perfectly fine, just kind of tired.” I reach out and pat her hand to reassure her.

The confusion melts from her face but the concern stays exactly where it is. “Well.... If you’re sure. What did you want us to bring tonight?”

Aha! I made a list for this. I rummage through my bag to find my list and I start calling names and objects to bring. “Sayori! Can you bring popcorn?”

I focus my attention back to Sayori, who salutes before nodding with a grin spread across her face.

“Natsuki! Bring any movies you think have potential, no matter the genre.” I look over at Natsuki and she's already thinking of expansive lists of what to bring.

“And Yuri, you're on candy detail. Does this work for everyone?” I look at the members who are all nodding in agreement. “Alrighty then, everyone. Meet at my house at 6:00 tonight!”

Everyone collects their belongings and starts to the door to finish their assignments for tonight. “What about me?” I was dreading this. I was hoping, with every fiber of my being, that this wouldn't happen. “What should I bring?”

I turn to look at Jeffrey. “Bring to where?” I know the answer before I even ask the question. I just have to be sure.

He stands up and stares at me. “Wherever you guys are going tonight. I wanna join, whatever it is.” I could tell that he wasn't going to let this go.

“It's a girls-only function.” I turn away from him and put the last remaining bits of my things into my bag. I can tell by the silence in the room that everyone was on edge.

He slams his hand on the desk to get our attention turned back to him. “You're lying! I decided to come to your stupid club meeting to spend some time with you, and now you won't even let me join you outside of school? I'm trying to be the nice guy here and attend to your interests, but you're just another bitch at this school! No wonder you don't have a boyfriend.”

I look around at the girls and they all have the same deer-in-headlights look about them. Natsuki quickly looks down to avoid catching his eye, Sayori looks like she's about to burst into tears, and Yuri is in too much shock to do anything other than play with her hair.

I calmly set my bag down on the floor and turn to look at him head on. “Listen, John, I've already told you that I'm not interested. I don't know you. All I know about you is that you've rummaged through my bag to steal my pen, you followed me to my club, you set my club activities behind to the point that none of my members even got the chance to speak today, you tried to intimidate me into going out with you, insulted me, and now you've slammed around a desk with the sole intention of scaring me. At this point, why would I ever consider saying yes to going out with you?” I start tapping my fingers on the closest desk to me. He wasn't moving but I could feel the girls in the room begin to relax.

He reached down to grab his bag, never looking away from me. “You’ll regret this, Monika. I'm the best guy at this fucking school and you're too stuck up your own ass to see it.... And my name is Derek! You've gotten it wrong this whole day!” He gathered his belongings and walked out of the club room. I wasn't fully relaxed until his footsteps were no longer heard in the classroom.

I look at the girls who still seem to be uncomfortable, but far more relaxed than they were ten minutes ago. “Are you guys ok?”

Sayori bound toward me to give me a hug. Her gentle sobs echo in my ear as her tears start to wet my collar. To try to calm her I start stroking her hair. She smells vaguely of cucumber shampoo and mint.

Eventually she pulls herself away. “I'm s-s-sorry, Monika.... That guy really creeped me out.” She wipes her eyes on her sleeve and sits on a desk.

“Aw.... Geez. Sayori, don't cry. You're gonna make me start to cry.” Natsuki struggles to fight her own tears as flashbacks appear before her. I almost forgot to give her her daily granola bar.

I reach into my bag again to hand her the food before she has to hurry home to get her things. I gently touch her shoulder with a reassuring smile to let her know that things will be ok.

She glances up at the clock and sprints out the door, shouting something about the time. She can really move if she wants to! Sayori quickly follows suit to grab her stuff from home before heading over to my apartment.

Now it's just Yuri and I and I breathe a sigh of relief. I quickly walk to the door, shut it, and lock it. Yuri and I have hardly spoken together in front of the others in weeks. Both of us have been paranoid about letting something slip before we told them.

I turn around to look back at Yuri after the door is successfully closed to find her sitting on a desk with her legs crossed and her hands placed beside her. “Alone at last....” Those are the first words I've heard from her all day. I walk back to her and gently uncross her legs so that one of them is now on either side of my hips. I set my hands on her thighs and lean forward, my lips no more than a few centimeters from her own.

I smirk at her and press the tip of my nose to hers. “You don't know how much I've wanted to do this all day.” I press my lips to hers and pull her even closer to me. She runs her long, slender fingers through my hair, and I wrap my arms around her waist. My body begins to heat up and I fight the urge to push her down onto the desk. I break the kiss before someone gets suspicious of the locked door. “We should wait until you get to my place tonight. Show up a bit early so we can have some private fun before everyone gets there.”

I take a step back and admire my short but effective work. Yuri’s lipstick is smudged, her hair is a mess, her uniform is disheveled, and her skirt rode up. I'm sure I don't look much better, but it's still satisfying knowing that I did that in such a short amount of time. Especially considering I never touched her hair.

Yuri reaches up to touch her lips and she starts giggling. “Y-You have some of my lipstick on you.”

I laugh with her for a moment. “There's no ‘clean’ way to kiss someone that wears lipstick. But it's ok, I usually walk away with lipstick on me.” I've almost been caught a few times with Yuri’s lipstick smudged on my skin after particularly carnal make out sessions.

I spend a moment fixing my pony tail as she tries to smooth out her hair and uniform. She hands me a moist towelette so I can wipe the lipstick off. I kiss her cheek and then her nose before I give her my signature smile. “I'll see you very soon. I-" I catch myself before I speak and kiss her cheek again. I pick up my bag and leave the room. I know how this probably looks from Yuri’s perspective, but I have to leave before I fully get my words out. I sprint out of school and book it to my apartment.

I set to cleaning up and organizing before everyone shows up. I'm thankful that I don't have too many possessions to clean. I'm thankful further that I don't have to worry about my parents. Given that their jobs require them to travel, their stuff isn't here anyway. I always planned on moving out the next time I saw them anyway. I don't need this much space to be alone in.

I suppose it's time to give them a call and let them know how things are going. They don't know about the Literature Club, or my friends.... They don't know about Yuri either. Do they even know I like girls? Probably not. I guess I could handle that before the girls show up here. I've got a few minutes to spare.


	2. The Sooner I Can Get Away From This Hellhole, The Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki spends her time reflecting on her life as she makes her way to Monika's apartment.

Geez. I can't believe that guy just showed up when he felt like it. He was kind of a creeper too.... All he did was stare at Monika the entire time. Oh well, at least he’s gone now.

 

I make my way to the closest bathroom and peer in. Good, no one’s in here. I quickly move into the closest stall and close it. I'm gonna be so late getting home. I fight my skirt and blouse off in exchange for slacks and a button down. I rip out the hair pins and pull off the ribbon tied around my neck. I stuff it all into my bag and zip it up. I elect to not change into boxers, and to leave my bra on. These are the things that are mine, that no one can make me change. I just have to keep telling myself that all of this is just cosmetic. Slacks, a tie, a button down- they don't define who I am. I open the door and stare at myself in the mirror. “I'm not a boy. I never have been. My genitals and clothes are just cosmetic.... Just gotta keep saying it....” I can't hold back a sigh. I feel as if part of me is missing and I can't hold onto it. It's just out of my grasp, and will be until I can leave this godforsaken house.

 

As far back as I can remember, I've had to switch between being 'my father's son' and being Natsuki. It started happening back in elementary school when I started wearing my mom's old blouses as dresses. After she passed away my dad started drinking all the time, and I didn't have any clothes that fit properly. My dad stopped worrying about uniforms since the school eventually provided them for me, and I didn't have any leisure clothes to enjoy my time with. The moment he walked in on me with my my mother's shirt on was the first time he ever hit me. The sound of his fist connecting with my stomach echoed through the house and stayed with my forever. At first I thought it was because I had my mother's clothes on and he missed her, but when he finally took me shopping and I picked out a skirt, things never got better. He yelled at me in the store and locked me in my room for a couple days when we got home. That's when I learned that I had to hide who I really am, at least until I could move away from this hellhole.

 

I focus on my reflection again and see the tears streaming down my face. I decide it's time to stop worrying about my father for now and just get my stuff from the house as fast as I can. Monika won't mind if I'm a little early, right? I sling my bag over my shoulder and trudge out of the bathroom, right into the unsuspecting shoulder of someone. 

 

“Hey, don't you see me walking here?” I look up at the unknown person to see violet eyes looking back at me. Shit! I thought everyone that knew me had left already. Time to play it cool.

 

“N-Natsuki?” Yuri looked down at me with a mixture of shock and confusion. She doesn't know. None of the club members do. Play it cool, remember?

 

“Yuri.” Superb. Playing it cool works again.

 

She takes a small step back and looks me up and down. “What happened to.... You?” She makes a small hand motion to my clothing as she quiets herself. 

 

I feel my face flush and I turn to look away. “I-I.... I have to go.” I push past her and start to run toward the exit to the school. Crap! I feel the stinging in my eyes as tears start to stream down my face. 

 

I just need to get home and get to Monika’s house as soon as possible. Wait.... Where did Monika say she lived? It doesn't matter at the moment. I can ask for directions later. I soon realize that I can't keep going at the pace I've set for myself. I can't run and cry at the same time, so I settle for walking and crying until I can calm myself down. I wipe my eyes on my sleeve once I calm myself, and walk the last few blocks until I reach my house. 

 

I spend a few moments outside, putting off the inevitable. I softly open the door and slide inside. I'm grateful that this is a single story house so I don't have to go upstairs. I listen attentively for any indication of life in the house. I hear the television in the living room and assume my dad is in there.

 

Shit. I have to walk past the living room before I can make it to my room to get my things. I slink pseudo-silently to my door, wincing with every creaking board. I keep my breath held in my lungs to keep my noise levels down, even if it's just by a little. My door was thankfully left open from when I left this morning. Had I planned my day better, I would've left my window open so I could just sneak in and out that way.

 

After several painstaking minutes of sliding along the floor, I finally make it to my room which is little more than a mattress on the floor with a few sets of clothes strewn about. None of my skirts or blouses or underwear are visible, I've learned to hide them pretty well. I decide to throw a few sets of clothes into my bag along with my pajamas, hairbrush, and toothbrush. I throw some slacks and button downs into the bag as well, just in case anyone unfortunate saw the contents. I sling my bag over my shoulder and step out of my room.

 

The stench of alcohol reaches my nose before I even see where the source is. My heart begins to race and I break into cold sweats before . “Itsuki.... Where do you think you're going?” I look up to see my father peering down at me.

 

“I'm headed to a friend’s house. A sleepover type deal....” I grit my teeth and mentally kick myself for saying that I'm headed over to a sleepover. I stand solid and stare at him, refusing to let him move without my knowledge.

 

“Hmmmm. A sleepover. That's kind of girly, isn't it? Your fucking hair is pink and now you're headed to a sleepover. Are you going to paint your nails while you're at it?” He reached down to get a fistful of my hair before slamming me into the wall, head first. “What’s in your bag?”

 

My heart starts pounding faster and my ears start ringing. “Just clothes and stuff!” I fight the urge to push him off me. I know he'd report me missing to the police if I just took off at this point. Wait can he still do that even if I'm 18?

 

I double over when he slams his fist into my ribs, and I fall to my knees when the assault is done. Once again I fight tears as he wrenches the bag away from me. He releases my hair to rummage through the bag. He looks satisfied at first until he finds a stray skirt at the bottom. “What the fuck is this?” He pulls the skirt out to show me exactly what he's speaking of. "I thought you learned your lesson years ago.... I guess not." He reaches down and grabs the front of my shirt to lift be back up.

 

“It's my girlfriend's!” I mentally kick myself again. I spoke before thinking again.... Dammit! I shut my mouth quickly, hoping that my answer will be enough to satisfy him.

 

He appears to be satisfied with the answer as he puts the skirt back in my bag. “Girlfriend? You never told me anything about a girlfriend. Finally must've done something right though, to get her skirt....” He chuckled to himself for a moment. “My son, Itsuki, fucking some poor girl with his pink-ass hair and his tiny body.” He quickly burst into a fit of laughter.

 

I wince with every ‘he’ ‘his’ and ‘him’ that my father throws at me, but I’m glad that he’s laughing instead of hitting. “Ah.... Haha.... Yeah. That's actually where I'm headed now. Can I go? I'm on movie detail....” He shoves my bag back into my hands without zipping it.

 

My dad sobers up, metaphorically to hand me a stack of DVDs. “Some of those are pretty decent. Some of those lead to kids being made.... Don't come home if you knock the girl up.” He picks up a DVD and stares intently at the cover before looking at me. “I made you with this movie playing in the background. Don't break it.” He sets the DVD on top of the stack he's already given me.

 

My face is burning in embarrassment by now. “.... Thanks.... Dad....” I quickly cram the movies into my bag and run out of the house to a nearby park. I send Monika a quick text to find out the address I should be headed to. 

 

Thankfully she responds quickly so I can just head right over. I stop by the closest public bathroom to change from my uniform into a comfortable skirt and blouse. I put my signature pin in my hair and feel more complete. I stare at myself in the mirror once again. “I am not Itsuki, son of Haru. I'm Natsuki, a beautiful young woman. I deserve love and happiness, and one day someone will love me for who I am.” I repeat this over and over until I have the confidence to stand up proudly with my shoulders pushed back and a twinkle in my eye. 

 

As soon as I leave the bathroom I begin my journey to Monika’s apartment complex. It appears to only be a few blocks away from the park. I have a smile plastered onto my face and I make up my mind to come out to my friends tonight. They love me and care about me, and they’ll accept me. That's what friends do.


	3. Hxppy Thxughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy thoughts never last. They just cause some breakages in the expansions of misery.

I skip my way out of the club room and out of the building as quickly and cheerfully as possible. My hair bounces from side to side, getting in my eyes frequently. I don't care about that! I just want to enjoy my walk home and enjoy my weekend with my great friends. From the exit of the school my house is only a few blocks away. I'm grateful for the short commute, it makes long days seem like they're closing a lot faster. As soon as my house is in my vision, I sprint to it as fast as my legs will carry me. I quickly feel the burning in my legs but I choose to ignore it, at least until I reach my front door.

 

As soon as I'm inside, I run upstairs to my room. Each step makes a hefty 'thunk' on my way up. “Play time with my friends! I love it!” I quickly pack a bag with all the essentials: pajamas, personal care, and Mr. Cow of course. Am I staying just tonight, or the weekend? I decide to pack for longer term, but to be conscious of how everyone acts in the morning. I quietly hope to myself that I get to stay the weekend. I love my house, but there's something comforting about staying with friends in a new environment. It's like camping, but in a building! 

 

It's been entirely too long since all of us last got together in a relaxed environment outside of school. The last time it happened was a complete accident! We all met at a local park and spent a few hours chit-chatting about books and poems. I feel like we all got a lot closer there. We never had the constraint of time, and it was nice to have something completely spontaneous happen. Sometimes it feels like life is just a never ending rut, so it's nice to have something unexpected happen every once in a while.

 

Since then they've probably gotten together without you. You know that, right?

 

I sigh quietly, setting my bookbag on the ground. I sit in my chair at my desk and think for a moment. “Yeah.... I know that. But at least I'm going to be there this time!” I try to focus on the positivity of the situation instead of the negative, but my thoughts like to be mean to me. I'm not sure why. The doctors told me that my mind is sick, but never fully explained how.

 

Yeah. You're going to be there this time, but do you think they want you there? When was the last time any of them asked you to hang out?

 

I look down at my lap, quietly cursing the my thoughts for being so hurtful. If these thoughts are truly my own, then why aren't they nice? “They’ve just been busy lately.... They’ve all had things going on. I know that they like me well enough, or they would've kept me out of the loop.” I feel my heart start to pound a little faster once I start saying good things about my friends. "I know they like me! They're my best friends and I love them."

 

Yeah, they're _your_ best friends, but who said that you're _their_  best friend?

 

That's.... Another good point. But they invited me, so they have to at least like me a little, right? Monika appointed me the vice president and no one really argued, so I must be doing a good job! I can always ask Monika when I get to her apartment. She won't mind if I come a few minutes early, right? I mean, it _is_ an important matter.... I tap my fingers on my desk, using the pads of my fingers to keep my tapping quiet.

 

I fumble with some objects on my desk, not really hoping to accomplish anything other than to just give me something to do. The end result is a slightly more organized desk, but not really more organized thoughts. I'm running different scenarios through my head, something I never got out of the habit of doing. The doctor's told me to give my actions a little thought, but to not over think. They never really said where the line is drawn between those two concepts though.

 

My first thought goes to Monika. What if she gets mad at me for showing up early? What if she asks me to leave and resign as vice president? What if she just thinks I'm pathetic for thinking the way I do?

 

I grit my teeth in determination and slam a drawer on my desk shut. The half-full sound of the drawer catches my attention for a split second and I open the drawer again. I push aside a few notebooks and come across several cut pieces of rope, some with blood stains and some without.

 

I flashback to just a few months ago, right before the festival. We were all given assignments to have completed before the day of the festival. All of my work was easy enough and it was all online, so I got it done pretty quickly. The rest of the weekend was dull and depressing. My thoughts wouldn't leave me alone to think and finally convinced me that I wasn't worth living. I was supposed to meet Monika early in the morning to start setting up our club room. We were all supposed to come in relatively early wearing yukatas and we were supposed to do each other’s hair. Natsuki asked me specifically to do her hair. I remember that she wanted a French braid with sakura blossoms riddled in it.

 

I woke up late and could hardly convince myself to get out of bed. I texted Monika, telling her that I wouldn't be able to make it to the festival. She called a few times to ask if I was ok, but I couldn't answer her. I couldn't fake being fine, or even just being sick. From that point forward it was almost like being on autopilot. Tying the noose and stringing it up were skills I didn't even know I possessed, but apparently I did. I was so out of tune with the world that I didn't even hear my front door opening and shutting. I didn't hear the footsteps in my house, or the creaking of the stairs. The last thing I heard after hearing the rope tighten was the ear piercing screams of my friends as the entered my room. My vision had already started fading, but Natsuki Monika lifted me to get the pressure off my neck while Yuri cut the rope.

 

None of them left my side the entire time I was in the hospital. They even had all of their school work sent to them online. I felt so bad for them having to do that, but they all kept telling me that they wanted to stay with me. The reassurance was nice, but I felt so guilty that I had to be reassured at all. While I was in the hospital, I was prescribed two high-dose antidepressants to make my thoughts be nicer to me. Generally they work really well! Sometimes I just forget to take them, and it leaves me where I’m feeling now. I decide that it’s probably in my best interest to take a pill now, and head over to be with my friends. With the bottle, of course.

 

As I close the drawer, something shiny catches my eye beneath the pile of rope. I reach down and pull out a beautiful, hand crafted knife. It was a gift from Yuri for my last birthday. When I received it, none of us were incredibly comfortable around each other. We were still learning of each other’s hobbies, and no one knew that Yuri was such a fan of knives. Looking back on it, I don’t think Yuri really thought it was an odd gift until she saw Natsuki’s expression when I opened it. Yuri gave a fairly long winded speech on the knife, but I was too enamoured by the blade itself to listen. I saw that it had a tsunami carved into it, and it was tinted to be a soft pink.

 

I was entirely mesmerized by it for the rest of the club duration that day. As soon as I came home I ducked into my bathroom and removed my blouse. Several wounds were already healing on my shoulder, but I wanted to try out my gift. I leaned in close to the mirror, staring myself down. Daring my reflection to make the first move. My breathing started to get heavier as I lifted the small but sharp knife to my flesh.

 

I almost dropped it when I heard a familiar voice yelling up the stairs. “Sayori, sweetie! You need to wash up. It’s time for dinner!”

 

“I’m coming down now!” I yelled through the bathroom door. I turned my attention back to my reflection to notice the stream of tears falling from my eyes, down my cheeks. I quickly put my blouse back on and threw the knife into my drawer, knowing that it wasn’t a good idea for me to keep it. I also didn’t want to be rude to Yuri by giving her the gift back. Knowing her, she spent hours trying to find the one she believed would be perfect for me. I elected to keep it in my drawer until I could find a good use for it that didn’t involve contact with skin.

 

I look around my room to see if there’s anything I missed before I decide to head out. I quickly check under my bed and in the other drawers for any missing objects that I may need over the weekend. I don’t find anything of interest immediately, so I make the hasty decision to run over to Monika’s apartment a bit early.

 

Wait! I should leave a note for my parents to let them know that I’ll be gone for the weekend. I think I’ve told them before now, but long-term memory doesn’t run in my family. I quickly write a note, reminding my parents that I’ll be out of the house until Saturday.... Or was it Sunday? I’m not sure.... I elect to tell them that I’ll be gone until Sunday, just to give me the option of coming back earlier.

 

Once I step out of the house and lock it, I immediately feel about a million times better than I felt in my room. I glance beside my house and see the familiar rose bush. What’s that old saying? Stop and pick roses? That sounds about right. I set forth to picking a few roses, one for each member of the literature club, before meeting everyone at the apartment complex. I make the short walk more interesting by playing music to listen to. Nothing to really have much meaning to the journey, but just something fun to jam out to.

 

As I close in on the apartment building I notice a short tsundere with pink hair no more than twenty feet in front of me. I smirk to myself and silently sprint up behind her, each step makes a soft 'tp tp' sound. It's good for noise control to run on your toes and balls of your feet. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her back to me in a ‘bear hug’ style. “Natsukiiii!” She grunts and struggles against me for a few seconds before recognizing my voice.

 

“Geez! You don’t gotta scare me like that!” I can tell that she’s mostly pretend pouting to stick with her generally cute persona, the one that she swears 'isn't cute'. She folds her arms and smiles at me. “It’s good to see you again.” 

 

I have to resist the urge to wrap my arms around her again.... Cute things always make me want to hug them! “It’s good to see you again too! Ahahaha! I see you decided to be a little early too.” I smile down at my fellow club member, feeling a light blush on my cheeks. Her smile is so cute.... Along with everything else about her.

 

Her face falls slightly, just enough that someone couldn’t tell if they weren’t paying close attention. “Uh.... Yeah! I wanted to get the party started early. You know what they say: No party is ever too early!” She grinned from ear to ear and placed her hands on her hips. I could tell that there was something off about her, but I don't want to push if she doesn't want to talk.

 

“I’ve never heard that one before, but I do love to party!” My grin spread to match Natsuki’s. “Oh wait! I got something for you.” I hand one of the roses out to Natsuki. She looks at me with a bit of confusion on her face. “You know that old saying: stop and pick roses? Well, I decided to take it to heart and pick some for you guys!” I beam at my friend, waiting for her to take it from me.

 

Natsuki reaches out to take the flower. For a split second it appears as if she’s going to say something, but she decides against it. “You’re really sweet, Sayori....” She gets the look on her face again before she hugs me tightly. I, of course, hug back and stroke her hair, which feels like soft silk. I breathe deeply and take in the scent of my tiny friend. Has she been using a new shampoo? She smells like strawberries! She pulls away, which feels almost reluctant, to place the flower in her bag. Before she touches the zipper on her bag she looks at me inquisitively. “Monika and Yuri have been acting weird lately, have you noticed?”

 

I glance up to think for a moment. I note how they’ve practically been avoiding each other for months. Monika has started asking Yuri to share her thoughts and poems first, but that’s pretty much all the interaction they’ve been having lately. It’s been a bit awkward being around two friends that don’t really interact, but I’ve been working hard to bring them closer together! One time I stuck Monika’s pen on Yuri’s desk so she’d have to ask for it back. I overheard Monika saying something about keeping office stationery “safe for school use” and couldn’t hear anything past that.

 

“Y’know Natsuki.... You’re right. They’ve been acting distant from each other for months now.... I wonder what could’ve caused that rift between them. They always seemed so close to each other.” I stroke my chin in thought. Maybe they had a fight that Natsuki and I don't know about. Yuri's never really been confrontational....But neither has Monika. Something serious must've happened to make them not want to be around each other.

 

She steps back to look at the rose first and then at me. Her fuchsia eyes take my breath for a moment. “Y’know.... I think I saw Yuri walking inside a few minutes ago. She and Monika are probably upstairs waiting for us now.” She turns the rose in her hands a few times.

 

“Really?!” I don’t even try to stifle my excitement, I want to see my friends being close again as soon as possible! I grab Natsuki’s hand and sprint to the building. I can almost sense Natsuki wanting to yell something about me pulling her along, but she doesn't get the opportunity to do so. We quickly shuffle to the closest elevator and make our way up to the appropriate floor. Once we get off the elevator we begin searching for Monika’s door. It wasn’t too hard to find, but it did take a good few minutes. The only odd thing about it was that the door was slightly ajar. I tap on the door quietly, hoping that Monika’s keen hearing would alert her of us.

 

Natsuki isn’t so subtle. She nudges the door open with her foot and takes the first step inside.


	4. Monika, You Truly Know How To Make A Girl's Heart Flutter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri tries to fight her obsession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, Yuri is not an edgy vampire.

I can’t help but glance at the clock every couple minutes. The guy coming onto Monika is making my skin crawl by just being in the same room as us. It’s not that I’m jealous of him! Far from it in fact, but I can’t help by feel a wave of relief when he, and the rest of the club members finally leave. It’s not that I don’t like Sayori and Natsuki, they both have great characteristics about them. Sayori is the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and Natsuki has so much passion in her that I admire greatly. I just want to spend some time with Monika alone. Ever since we started dating we agreed to keep our relationship a secret. We didn’t want to attract any extra attention to ourselves. This school is full of perverts that are always trying to look up skirts, and it’s that much worse for Monika seeing as she’s the most popular student in the entire school. As for me, people have made me the school outcast since I came here. Being quiet with purple hair and your nose being constantly stuck in a book gets you stuck with a lot of rumors. The most entertaining one was that I’m a cult leader. 

 

We really thought hard about telling Sayori and Natsuki, but Sayori doesn’t really get the concept of secrets, so I’m pretty sure half the school would know before the first day was over. As for Natsuki,  she can sometimes be unaware of who’s listening to her conversations. She’s a boisterous girl, but often gets ignored by our peers because of her stereotypical 'tsundere' personality, and being younger than everyone else doesn't help. It just seems that no matter who it is that's speaking, once someone says 'Monika' everyone automatically tunes in to _that_  conversation. It doesn't matter if it involves them or not. Given that Natsuki and I are the biggest outcasts in the school, having her talk about me and the most popular student wouldn't be good for either of us.

 

As Monika got up to close and lock the door behind the three other students, I decide to climb up onto the desk with my legs crossed and wait for her to direct her attention back to me. I like to tease her when I can, it usually comes with a happy ending no matter where we are. One time stands out to me above the others. It was a complete accident! She was sitting at a desk, reading a book and I came up behind her to read a passage over her shoulder. She peered over her shoulder and was apparently completely eye level with my chest. I leaned forward to read the words clearer, only moving my chest closer to her face. She mistook it as playful flirting, and pulled me into a nearby broom closet.

 

I can feel my breathing get heavier from a mixture of my memory and her gaze being turned back to me. “Alone at last....” It’s more of a statement to myself than one that I want Monika to hear. Of course, knowing Monika, she heard it. I’m not sure how she’s so aware of everything happening around her, but it impresses me none the less. A smirk dances across her lips and she begins to sashay toward me with deft but purposeful footsteps. I can’t help but to have an equally enthusiastic smile on my face with a blush dusted across my cheeks.

 

Once she stands directly in front of me I can hear how labored her breathing is as well. In fact, I can almost hear her heart pounding in her chest, practically begging to be let out. She reaches out and rubs my legs along my stockings before uncrossing them for me. I spread them a bit further to allow easier access for her. Subconsciously she grabs my hips and pulls me closer to her.

 

She presses her nose to mine and whispers softly to me. “You don't know how much I've wanted to do this all day.” My breath hitches in my throat and she presses her lips to mine in a lustful kiss. Just a few months ago I would’ve been mortified to do so much as hold her hand, and now I can’t stop daydreaming about her ravaging my body in this classroom. I bury my fingers in her hair and lick her soft lips to ask permission to enter. She barely has enough time to part her lips before I slide my tongue into her mouth. My body heats up quickly and I grab one of her hands to slide it up my skirt. Ever since our first time making love I can’t stand her not being inside of me, especially when we’re this close together. I tangle the fingers of my free hand through her soft, silky, copper hair. Her damn bow is in the middle of progress! I decide to ignore it and play with the ginger locks that I can easily get to.

 

To my dismay she pulls back from me before we can progress anything further. “We should wait until you get to my place tonight. Show up a bit early so we can have some private fun before everyone gets there.” Her voice is barely above a low whisper to me. I love it when she speaks to me like that. It’s another part of her that only I get to know about.

 

Before I get a chance to respond I decide to look her up and down. I immediately lose my train of thought and have to stifle my own laughter. She has my magenta lipstick smeared across her lips ungracefully, her normally pristine bow is turned to the side and almost untied completely, her uniform was completely wrinkled, basically it looks like she was working out in it, and her hair is disheveled, almost frizzy. I'm sure I don't look any better, but seeing Monika stand before me looking as if she just had sex with her clothes on was unbearably funny.

 

I finally lose my composure and laugh at the sight before me. “Y-You have some of my lipstick on you.” I almost double over in laughter at her ruined perfectionism. Monika has a reputation of looking perfect, no matter what, so seeing her look as rough as she does now is a nice treat that she saves only for my eyes. Despite her looking as if she spent a sleepless weekend with me, she still maintains her aura of godliness and has a heavenly glow about her. My god. She’s absolutely stunning! I can’t help but to stare for a few moments, taking in the sheer beauty radiating off of Monika’s skin.

 

Monika quickly giggles with me, I guess I’m actually as much of a mess as I thought. “There’s no ‘clean’ way to kiss someone that wears lipstick. But it’s ok, I usually walk away with lipstick on me.” She spends a few seconds trying to hastily fix her ruined uniform as best as she can get it. With the way it looks now, she’s better off just changing for the day and washing the uniform. It’s never going to reach the unadulterated look that it had before the club meeting until it can be thoroughly cleaned again.

 

My mind travels back to some of our more libidinous sessions with my lips on Monika’s neck, feeling her blood pumping in the veins just below the surface, and her hands struggling to pull articles of clothing off my body. For someone who’s so stupendous at everything she touches, she’s actually pretty rough around the edges when it comes to undressing her partner. I can’t say that I really blame her. We were both entirely new to this when our relationship started out. I suppose I was just a faster learner.

 

I decide to follow Monika’s lead and straighten out my uniform as much as possible to look somewhat normal when I walk out of the classroom. I dig through my bag to find some moist towelettes for us. I hand her one and take one out for myself. I might as well just wipe my lipstick off instead of trying to just fix it. As Monika finishes wiping her lips and cheeks, she leans over me again. This time to give me a soft kiss on my cheek, followed by my nose. Her eyes beam at me with determination. “I’ll see you very soon. I-” Her eyes widen slightly before she presses another kiss to my cheek. I stare back with a bit of confusion as she almost runs out of the classroom.

 

What was Monika going to say? I mentally kick myself for not asking her to finish her thought. Oh well, I can ask her to explain later. I sling my bag over my shoulder and slowly trudge along to the bathroom to have a moment to think. As I absentmindedly make my way to the bathroom door, I feel a quick pressure run into me. It feels as if someone walked straight into me. I become more aware of my surroundings and, lo and behold, someone ran into me. “Hey, don’t you see me walking here?” I furrow my brows as the student. He looks astonishingly like Natsuki.... Too much like Natsuki. I quickly do a once over of the student who is now staring at me with more than a small amount of fear in their eyes.

 

My voice falters when I actually try to speak. “N-Natsuki?” I can’t help but to look at my friend that’s now dressed in one of the male uniforms. Not only did she look uncomfortable in the uniform, she looked like she was about to yell at me for seeing her in it in the first place. I’m sure my confusion was plastered all over my face, but I believe it was correctly placed. I run my fingers through my hair, a habit I’ve always had instilled in me to help me concentrate my anxiety.

 

She’s staring me in the eye, almost daring me to say something to her. “Yuri.” Her meek voice echoes in my ears despite being uncharacteristically soft. I can tell she isn’t happy about this interaction. She refuses to look me directly in the eye, preferring to look off to the side of my face, as if she’s afraid of what may happen if she looks at me directly.

 

I take a step back to do a more detailed run down of my friend standing in front of me. I can’t even stop the words coming from my mouth at this point. “W-What happened to.... You?” I hold my breath as I realize the mistake I just made.

 

Her eyes widen slightly, furiously, before she looks down at the ground. “I-I.... I have to go.”

 

I decide to not press my inquiries as she pushes past me. I bite my tongue as I listen to her footsteps tap down the hall and out of the school. My mind argues with itself over whether I should chase after her or not. I decide to finish what I set out to do, since Natsuki appears to want to be alone.

 

I gently open the bathroom door. “Hello?” I kind of figured that there wouldn’t be anyone in here, but I had to be sure. I lock the door behind me and stare into the mirror directly in front of me. I set my bag on the ground beside me with a soft ‘whump’. I carefully unbutton my jacket and my shirt to slide them off with ease. I set them on the counter beside me and reach into my skirt to pull out my knife. I look at it up and down and study each bit of craftsmanship in it. The blade itself has a purple hue and rose blossoms carved into it from the fuller to the tang. The handle is made from cherry tree wood that’s been stained a deep maroon color. This has always been my favorite knife in my collection, even surpassing my blue one with the wave pattern.

 

I bring the blade up to my lips briefly to kiss it before sliding it along my arm. Deep red blood begins to bubble up to the surface of my skin as I make another precise incision just above the last one. I bring my arm up to my mouth so I can kiss away the blood. As the blood passes by my lips I can feel my heart begin to throb. I lower my arm to make my third and final cut. I make sure to take my time with this one, I want it to be as perfect and straight as I can manage. Before I can finish with the incision I drop down to my knees and stifle a moan in my throat. I bring my arm back to my mouth and lick the blood that’s dripping down to my wrist. I slide my tongue up the stream of blood back to the original wounds that it came from. The taste of blood is too titillating to just have a small taste, so I begin lapping at my arm, lusting for the metallic fluid flowing from it.

 

I drop the knife to the ground and focus on pulling my blood from my wounds before it coagulates and the flowing stops. I double over to suck on the gashes on my forearm. That old saying is to hold a wound above the heart to stop the blood from flowing, right? But I want as much of it as my body will allow me to have. My heart is now pounding in my throat and I can feel it in my ears. I slow down my needy sucking and feel my spare hand playing with the button on my skirt.

 

Should I?

 

Of course not! This is a public place, not your bedroom. Besides, you know it won’t be nearly as satisfying unless Monika does it for you. Just clean up your arm, put your blouse and jacket back on, and hurry home. The sooner you get your things, the sooner you can see Monika again, and the sooner you can have your ‘problem’ handled.

 

That’s good advice, but ultimately it’s advice that’s easier said than done. My arm slides away from my mouth and my idle hand reaches down to pick up my bloody knife. The entirety of the mess isn’t too hard to clean up. A few wet paper towels should easily clean everything, including my arm. Thankfully the bleeding has ceased, save for a few unruly drops that won’t clot fast enough. After wiping up the blood I hastily throw my clothes back on, neglecting to tuck my shirt in. I’m going home, after all. It doesn’t really matter if I tuck the shirt tail in.

 

I set my knife into my bag before throwing the bag over my shoulders to walk home. ‘Eyes forward, shoulders back, walk with purpose but don’t run.’ I run these words through my head to avoid looking suspicious on my way home. I haven’t been known to run much in my lifetime, so I fight the urge to get home as soon as possible. Once I get home I sprint to my room, shove random outfits into my bag along with several pairs of underwear, my brush and toothbrush, and sprint toward the door. I live no more than a block away from Monika, and at this point I just want to get to her quickly. Looking suspicious be damned!

 

No sooner than I touch the silvery doorknob do I hear my name being called by a gruff, masculine voice. “Yuri!” Ah, my parents. I forgot about that small bump in my plan. The one that called my name was my father. Sometimes he likes to be a bit.... Overbearing. “Come here, young lady.” Sensing his disapproval, I trudge back a few steps away from the door. I’m not thrilled to have this going on when I just want to spend some time with my girlfriend, but I comply anyway. It makes things easier in life than arguing.

 

I quickly and quietly step into the den where my father is reading a newspaper. It isn’t today’s newspaper, but I decide to not say anything about it. “Yes, Father?” He always had a rule about not calling him ‘Dad’ or ‘Papa’ or anything of that nature. It was rough growing up when we had to tell our classmates about our ‘dads’ and ‘moms’. People never understood the formality in our family, even the teachers found it to be odd. They went so far as to correct my papers and speeches about my parents, stating that it was too formal.

 

He glanced over the newspaper to look at me. He’s always been a hefty, intimidating man. People at school describe me as ‘tall’ but I’m actually on the shorter side of both sides of my family. “Where are you headed?” He glared, waiting for my response. His eyes matched my violet and are in a perpetual state of frustrated.

 

I’ve been hiding my relationship with Monika from my parents. They just know her as the club president, and a friend. My therapist told me to try to not keep secrets from them, but my father is such an intimidating man and my mother, though she’s generally sweet, doesn’t really listen.

 

I run my fingers through my hair and glance to the side. “I-I’m headed to a friend’s house. She invited m-m-me and a few other friends over for a sleepover this weekend.” I mentally wince at the partial lie coming from my mouth. More than just not keeping secrets, my therapist told me to be especially honest with my parents about Monika. She said it wasn’t healthy for us to lie about our relationship, and our parents should be the first to know about ‘us’.

 

He narrowed his eyes at me and scanned my face for any obvious telling signs that I’m lying to him. I’ve learned to conceal my emotions and lies well over the years, he’s not picking me apart as easily as he thinks. “How long are you going to be out for?” His voice is low and demanding. He speaks slowly to make sure that I understand every syllable he’s saying. He’s never liked repeating himself.

 

I speak so quickly that don’t even think about an answer. “Until Monday. All of us are g-going to be walking to school together Monday morning.” I’m not sure if that’s completely true. I’m not sure if Natsuki and Sayori are going to be walking to school with Monika and I, but _we’re_ definitely going to be walking to school together.

 

Staring at the ceiling in contemplation, he nods slowly. I rubs his chin, despite the fact that he doesn’t have any facial hair. “How many boys are going to be there?” Ah, sly work, father. I’m not going to fall for it.

 

“There’s not going to be any boys there. It’s an all girl’s function.” My fingers idly play with the pockets of my skirt. I know how rigid I look, standing in the doorway to the den, but I stopped caring when I saw the clock ticking by. My Monika time is being severely shorted by every passing second. I listen to the clicking of the second hand and after several moments, the clicking is almost maddening with how loud it sounds in my own mind.

 

My mother looks up from the book she’s reading to stare disapprovingly at my father. “Just let her go enjoy her time with her friends. You used to always complain that she spent too much time with her nose stuck in a book, and now you don’t want her to enjoy her friend’s company. You have to pick, is she social or not. She wants friends, she has friends, she wants to spend time with them.” She looks over at me and smiles. “Go enjoy yourself!”

 

I smile and turn around back toward the door. “Wait!” It’s my father again. I’m not sure what he could want, but I feel that it’s in my best interest to listen. I turn back around and look at him blankly. “Don’t come home pregnant.”

 

My face flushes as blood rushes to my cheeks. I open the door and run out. As the door closes I can catch a few argumentative words between my parents, but I don’t concern myself about it. My mind is too preoccupied by Monika to worry about anything else. I don’t sprint over to her building, but settle for speed walking over. I should still be there early enough to have some fun with her before the others show up.

 

As soon as the building is within my sight I speed up my pace ever so slightly. I push the door open and slip into the next available elevator. The ride up is so painstaking, knowing that I’m so close to being with my girlfriend, but not within her grasp just yet. My palms grow sweaty the more time passes in the elevator The ‘ding’ echoing through the elevator can’t come fast enough, and before I realize what I’m doing I’m running down the hallway to Monika’s apartment. When I reach her door I find that it’s partially ajar with the lights inside off.

 

Cautiously, I push the door open and step inside. No more than two steps into the apartment and I feel slender fingers cover my eyes.

 

Warm, sweet breath blows into my ear and I can feel my face heat up. “Guess who.” Her voice is no more than a whisper. Her lips brush against my tender ear, and then my neck. Her plush lips feel like satin against my skin.

 

“M-M-Monika.... I missed you.” I nudge the door closed and reach for the lights with shaky a shaky hand before it gets swatted away from the wall with a firm ‘whap’. What the hell was that? “Monika?”

 

Her fingers have already set to work unbuttoning my shirt as she sends her lips to attack the sweet spot behind my ear. Frustrated that she can’t unbutton my shirt quickly, she clumsily pulls me into the next room. Her bedroom. I stumble over her feet and the unfamiliar furniture in my way. As soon as we step into her room she pushes my chest causing me to fall backwards onto her bed, and slams the door closed in one fluid motion.

 

I stare toward the door, where Monika’s standing. I notice that my panting is almost in perfect sync with hers. She takes a second to analyze the situation before leaping onto the bed, onto me. She growls animalistically into my ear as she fumbles with the buttons of my blouse. Admitting defeat with the buttons on my shirt, she pops them all off by ripping the two sides apart. I sit up to shrug the shirt off, taking my time to tease her before I begin my assault on her collarbone. While she struggles with the buttons on my skirt, my fingers expertly remove her shirt and skirt before she can finish with my attire. Even in the dark I can feel her glare down upon me with her emerald eyes. “You can’t let me have this one win?”

 

A chuckle escapes my lips. “That wasn’t a win. That was a mediocre attempt to cross the finish line!” She weaves her fingers into the tender hair at my scalp and yanks backwards. With my head tilted back she bites my throat playfully. Kissing the bite marks tenderly, she releases my violet locks to slide her hands down my back to the clasps on my bra. “Do you think you’ll be able to handle this on your own, or do you want some help?” She slides a hand around my throat and smiles at me sweetly.

 

Using her spare hand she unclasps my bra, slowly but at least it feels like she knows what she’s doing. “I think your mouth could be put to better use somewhere else.” She slips her tongue into my mouth and explores it, spending a painstaking amount of time feeling my sharp canines, eventually nicking herself on one of them. The taste of blood fills my mouth, and I assume that she tastes it as well. She tries to remove her tongue from my mouth, but I place my hand on the nape of her neck, deepening the kiss. Desperate to taste more of the coppery liquid dripping from her tongue, I slide my own into her mouth and lap at the site of the injury. I know how awkward this is, but I can’t bring myself to stop my needy licking.

 

My hands grip her endowed breasts, feeling her stiff peaks pressing into my palms. Once my hands have had their fill of touching her breasts they trail down her ribcage, my fingertips dust across her well built abs, and rest on her prominent hip bones. I slip a finger into the waist of her panties and slide them down to her toned, porcelain thighs. During moments like this it’s easy to see how much her athletics pay off. She takes the initiative to fully remove her panties and my own. She ends up accidentally shredding mine.... I guess her nails and my lace aren’t a good mixture.

 

She holds my face in her hands and breaks the kiss, panting heavily no more than a few centimeters from my mouth. “Get on your knees at the foot of the bed.” As I eagerly slide down to the end of the bed, she shuffles up to the head of it and lays down on her back. “I told you that your mouth would be of better use somewhere else.... So put it to good use.” She spreads her legs to allow me access to her core.

 

Slowly, I lean down, running my fingertips along her soft thighs. I lay down on my belly and gently place her knees on my shoulders. I kiss her hips and slowly drag my tongue down to her hot, sweet core. Before I can reach her eager vagina, I decide to focus on gently sucking her labias and clitoris. She inhales a sharp breath at my display. I look up and see her chest rising and falling rapidly, matching the speed of my sucking. I release the suction of my mouth and press my tongue into my awaiting girlfriend. My heart starts pounding harder and harder the more time I spend making love to Monika.

 

My vision goes hazy for a moment as my heart beats harder in my chest. Slowly my anxiety begins to fade, even as my heart is pounding harder than it ever has before. I reach a hand up and grasp one of Monika’s hands. It was clutching the sheets beneath her as if she were trying to rip it apart. “Monika.... I _love_ your pussy.... It tastes like honey!” I bury my face back into the crevice between her thighs and enthusiastically push my tongue into her chasm.

 

She reaches down with her spare hand to grip my hair again. “Yuri.... This feels so.... _G-Goooooddd!_  Harder and d-deeper.... Pleeeease...!” I oblige her request and push her back down to the bed as she begins writhing beneath me. Hearing another sharp inhale, I push my tongue into her as far as I possibly can. I drag my top teeth along her clitoris and retract my tongue from her core. I wrap my lips around her clitoris once again and push two fingers into her, pumping quickly. Her walls close around my fingers rhythmically, her quick breathing turns into desperate moaning, and I can tell that she’s getting close to her climax.

 

I quicken the pumping of my fingers and suck harder. Monika loosens her grip on my hair and lifts her hand to her mouth to bite her knuckle as she gets closer to her orgasm. I glance back up at her and notice that her writhing is more erratic now than it was before.

 

“Hey Monika! Are you ok?”

 

Monika and I share a quick glance at each other before she throws a blanket over us to hide the scene from the intruder. As soon as the blanket settles, the door to her bedroom opens and two pairs of footsteps enter the room. I do the smart thing and keep my mouth shut.


	5. [REDACTED]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bet you can't guess what happens when Monika and Yuri get interrupted.

I pull my fraying quilt up to my neck and snuggle down into my bed, trying to appear as innocent and calm as possible. Well, as innocent and calm as I can be while I’m completely nude with Yuri’s face between my thighs and a deep blush across my cheeks. I quickly nudge her with my knee as the door opens, silently trying to tell her that she needs to remove her fingers and keep her hands to herself right now.

 

The lights to my room flip on and my two remaining club mates enter quickly. “Monika! Are you ok? Your front door was open and we heard a bunch of noises coming from this room....” Sayori was babbling incessantly about her thought process, but my mind was understandably elsewhere. “We just wanted to make sure you were ok! So, we’re sorry for coming in unannounced. Are you ok?” Her cheeks were a light pink, probably from the increased heart rate. I don’t think she suspects anything at the moment. I quickly look her over and notice her heavy breathing, which puts my mind at ease.

 

I sigh to myself for leaving both of my doors unlocked. I should’ve known better than that, but I got so caught up in the moment.... Caught up in wanting to satisfy Yuri and myself that I forgot about everything around us. “Y-Yeah, Sayori. I’m ok. You guys are a little early.... Is everything ok with you guys?” Clutching the quilt to my bare chest, I slide back into my mattress. I can’t get up until they leave, but I don’t know how to get them to leave in the first place! Could I ask them to retrieve some ice from downstairs? That’d be rude, but at least it would get them to leave for a few minutes....

 

Sayori looks at me inquisitively, and for the first time I’m really noticing Natsuki in my room. She has a horrified expression on her face, but it looks like she’s trying to hide it to the best of her abilities. For the record, her best is still lacking. Her eyes are as wide as tea saucers, and her jaw is dropped. If it wasn’t connected to the rest of her head I’m sure it would be on the floor. “Hey Moni, why’s your hair all....” Sayori makes a hand gesture toward me, something flamboyant but not over the top. “.... And are you naked? ‘Cause if you are, that’s cool and all, but.... Why?” I don’t think my blush ever left my face, but I’m pretty sure it’s a lot darker now.

 

I look back at Natsuki who has a blush on her cheeks as well. At least now her mouth is shut, but her eyes are still wide. With her, I’m pretty sure she knows something is up. She may not know exactly what it is, but she knows something. I’m sure of it. I think of a quick lie to satisfy Sayori. It may not satisfy Natsuki though, but right now I just want someone to be satisfied, and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to be Yuri or I. “I was.... Uh.... Sleeping. You know, a quick nap before the party starts!” Smooth, Monika. Really smooth. At least it seemed smooth enough to get Sayori off my back for now.

 

Sayori opens her mouth to speak, probably to pick apart my story some more. Before she can force any noise out of her throat there’s a crash in my living room. I stare at Sayori and Natsuki with my eyebrows furrowed, a mixture of horror and confusion dances across my face. Did they bring someone else to the party? Having to explain my nudity to my best friends is awkward enough. I don’t want to have to explain myself to someone I don’t even know!

 

Judging from the surprised looks on their faces, they weren’t expecting that noise either. So who the hell is in my apartment? Yuri’s been uncharacteristically still this whole time.... I wonder if she’s still conscious after being under the blanket for all this time. I push her to the back of my mind in favor of the other intruder in my apartment.  

 

I hear quickly approaching footsteps and reach over to my bedside table for one of Yuri’s knives. I don’t want to have to fight this son of a bitch naked, but by god I’ll do it if I have to! I grip the knife with white knuckles, the handle pressing deep into my palm. I look at Natsuki and Sayori, who are trudging backwards away from the bedroom door and toward the back wall near my bedside table. As I stare at my door I feel the adrenaline coursing, burning through my veins. The steps quickly get closer and closer to my open bedroom door. 

 

My muscles tighten as I prepare to leap at the intruder, blade in hand. I try to steady my heavy breathing as I anticipate the invader advancing toward my room. Finally my anticipation peaks as the door slams open completely. I see his shaggy mess of blonde hair before anything else. This son of a bitch better have a damn good reason for being in my house. 

 

“Monika! Are you ok? I heard people screaming your name!” Johnny.... He steps into my room and stares at my nude, yet covered form. My face flushes and I can feel the anger bubbling through every blood vessel in my body. I begin shaking in a mixture of an adrenaline crash and the sheer outrage of this guy inviting himself into my home. I’m not sure how he found my place, whether he followed Natsuki and Sayori, followed me, or just happened upon this place. At this point I don’t care! Nat and Sayori coming in was understandable. It put a hitch in my plan, but ultimately it was my fault for them walking in on us in a compromising situation. They’re still supposed to be here despite being early. This guy shouldn’t be!

 

“Why are you staring at me? You aren’t a starving animal, and I’m not a meal for you to enjoy. More importantly, why are you in my  _ fucking  _ home?!” I feel Yuri flinch lightly as I raise my voice to Jared. She rubs my thigh, trying to calm me down from my rage fueled rant. I’m not about to calm down now. I’m going to make sure this guy knows that he’s not welcome near me, my apartment, or my friends. “I tolerated your tantrum in study hall, I tolerated your psychotic episode in my club, I’m not going to tolerate you inviting yourself into my house uninvited! I don’t know if you followed my friends over here to get to me, and I don’t care, but if I ever see you again, hear your voice again, or even hear a sentence that mentions your name around me I swear to any holy power in existence.... I will  _ destroy _ you.” As I finish my monologue I stare into his eyes to detect any fear, but also to make him know that I’m completely serious with my words. I’ve deleted bitches before. This guy is just one more to add to the list.

 

To my dismay he starts to laugh about a moment after I finish my speech. I grit my teeth at his laughter and keep the knife pressed close to my thigh. My breathing quickens as he takes another step into my room. A smirk dances across his lips as a glimmer shines in his eye. “You’ll destroy me, eh? Really...?” His voice is a low whisper, barely above a sadistic growl in his throat. He takes a few more steps toward my bed, his hands clenched into fists at his side. His shoulders are hunched over in an almost animalistic fashion. His smirk widens to a full grin. His footsteps tap and resonate through my entire room, but I’m not about to back down from him. Not now. 

 

Slowly he gets closer to the foot of my bed before he abruptly throws himself on it. A startled, ear piercing yelp escapes from underneath my blanket.  _ Fuck!  _ Yuri! For a split moment I forget about Joseph being in my room and worry only about Yuri, and if she’s ok after having this moron flop on top of her. She begins wriggling beneath the bulk of his mass, trying to force him to get off of her. In a confused panic he leaps off the bed and yanks my blanket, seemingly to try to get it off my bed. Like Hell he’s going to see Yuri and I nude! We both seem to get the same idea at the same time and hold the blanket down around us. That doesn’t stop the idiot from trying to continue to rip the blanket off the bed.

 

Natsuki and Sayori snap out of their shock from our unannounced guest showing up, and then  witnessing him yank desperately on my quilt. They give each other a quick but meaningful glance before leaping into action. Literally. Sayori jumps over me, onto the bed to add to the weight he’s going to have to pull on. Natsuki jumps onto his back with an arm wrapped around his neck and her legs wrapped around his ribcage, repeatedly punching him in the back of the head with a resounding ‘ _ whap _ ’ each time. She digs her sharp, kittenlike teeth into his ear as if she was trying to rip it off. He lets go of my blanket and backs into a wall to try to knock Natsuki off his back. As he struggles with Natsuki, I tug on my bathrobe, knife still in hand. I don’t even care if Natsuki or Sayori see me bare-skinned. The scuffle in front of me is too important to be worrying about needless modesty. 

 

“NAT LET GO!” I guess Sayori had the same idea as me as she shouted at the younger girl. I sprint full force at Jason and slam my shoulder into his chest to knock the wind out of him. I feel the adrenaline pulsing through me as I clash with him. Thankfully Natsuki dropped off of him when she did or I would’ve ended up plowing her down too. In my adrenaline fueled attack I grab his throat and hold the razor sharp blade to it, barely able to hold my hand steady with the red I see and the rage I feel. My vision quickly turns from pulsing ruby red to stark black with random numbers and letters clouding my vision, a loud ringing fills my ears and the rest of my senses dull for the next few seconds. As my senses return to me, the first thing I can feel is the stress I’ve been putting onto my jaw from grinding my teeth. The next thing that I feel is Yuri’s warm, curvaceous form behind me. I lean back into her, feeling somewhat more at ease.... But she’s pulling on me as if she’s trying to lift me away from something. What is it? I still can’t see....

 

I feel my breathing, heavy and desperate. As if I just ran three miles and swam ten laps. Why am I breathing so hard? I only knocked him down. It shouldn’t have taken so much out of me to just knock the son of a bitch over. My hearing and vision return at the same time. I see the slumped form of.... Whatever his name is, and I hear the muffled screams of my club members. Shakily I raise my hands to my eye level to see blood splattered all over my arms up to my elbows. What did I just do?  _ What the hell did I just do?  _

 

I wanted him gone but I didn’t want to hurt him.... I look around to the horrified faces of my fellow club members. Sayori has her hands over her face as if she’s trying to avoid looking at the scene in front of her. I don’t blame her. Natsuki slouched over on her knees, looking green but obviously trying not to vomit. I look up over my shoulder to the tense expression on Yuri’s face. I crane my neck to see her still nude form with her arms wrapped around my midsection. She leans down to lick my ear, presumably to lick whatever blood was on it. I pull my ear away from her tongue and notice her quick change in expression from tense and taut back to her usual nervous demeanor. 

 

Her breathing quickens as she’s brought back to the reality of the situation. “M-Monika...? What are we going to-”


	6. Chapter 6

With tears streaming down my face I look around the room one last time at my roommates. Sayori has her face buried in my pillow, trying to tune out the world and pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Natsuki’s face is pale with her hand over her mouth in a futile attempt to hold the contents of her stomach down. Her eyes are sealed shut, trying to avoid the lifeless mass in front of her. And Yuri.... I glance over my shoulder into her eyes. Outwardly she looks calm, as if she’s a mother trying to calm a child, but her eyes are wild with fear and exhilaration. Her skin is glistening with sweat and she has a small bead of saliva dripping from the corner of her mouth. This wasn’t supposed to happen. All I wanted to do was have a nice weekend with my friends and girlfriend. Why was I so stupid that I left the door open when Yuri showed up? 

 

I told myself I’d never do this again, but this is an extenuating circumstance that needs to be rewritten. I don’t want my club mates to live with this burden, or to be in prison for the rest of their lives. This all needs to go away. Hell, it never should’ve happened in the first place.

 

I look at the paused scene and close my eyes. I run my fingers along the hardwood panels of my bedroom floor and try to relax. Well, as relaxed as I can be with this going on around me. After a few minutes of practicing some breathing exercises that Yuri taught me, I feel the world around me begin to melt and fade away. Every book in my room turns into a sloshing mess of ones and zeros, every word and thought swirl around me in vortex of code and binary. All of my friends disappear, one by one into the endless cacophony around me until the only things left in this noisy hellhole are the lifeless bastard on my floor and myself. Eventually, he also disappears into the disarray. I peer down at my hands and watch them fade away from this reality, back to my last save file.

 

I quickly glance around the room and notice that I’m sitting back at my kitchen table, phone in hand. I look at the clock above my stove to check the time. 4:13.... What was I doing at 4:13? Oh! I was calling my parents. But.... They never picked up. I don’t know why I’m so torn up by some lines of code that don’t know me or care, but as far as I’m concerned they’re my parents. I set my phone on the table and rest my elbows on either side of the case. Natsuki should be texting me any minute to ask for directions. I sit in silent contemplation until I get her text. My phone quietly buzzes before I type in the address and set my phone back down. I tap my fingers to a rhythm on my phone case, wondering if I should text Yuri. There’s nothing in particular that I want to talk about, but I hate swimming in this ocean of unbearable loneliness. I gently slide my finger down the side of the phone case. I thought this lonely feeling was bad enough the first time I felt it. It’ll be hard to explain this to the group when they get here....

 

Of course my friends know about this ability I possess, but it kind of freaks them out. It freaks me out too, to be perfectly honest. I don’t know the extent of this ability or who else can possess it as well. I hope no one else can do this, not because I like to feel special, like I have super powers, but because it’s so stressful. It’s stressful in that the world could be falling apart around you and you’re the only one that can fix it. Your best friends could be crumbling beneath their horrible coding and scripts, but they’re too proud, or too shy, or too selfless to ask you to help them despite knowing that all of their issues could be fixed in a snap. It’s infuriating knowing that I have this power but no ability to use it to help anyone. All I can do is try to fix my own screw ups as subtly as possible, and avoid making them again.

 

Yuri.... It doesn’t matter if she shows up early anymore. There’s nothing good that can come from us doing anything before the other girls fall asleep. Knowing Sayori, she’ll want to stay up all night, and Natsuki will want to expose us to some more of her anime throughout the night. I don’t mind, but I better start thinking of a way to make it up to Yuri for leaving her hanging on my promise. She’s been trying to dance on a razor’s edge with me lately, and I’ve been trying to stupidly keep up. I glance back at the clock to measure how long I’ve been thinking to myself. Ah, 4:47. About this time was when I’d shut the lights off for Yuri’s arrival. I sigh softly and walk over to the couch. Every step sounds like a cannon shot in the vast emptiness. I situate myself on one of the cushions and breathe deeply. 

 

I steel my nerves and try to relax myself. I need to act like nothing’s wrong. I don’t want my friends to ever know of what happened in that timeline. They need to continue their lives normally, never knowing what they witnessed in my bedroom. I briefly consider telling Yuri, knowing that she wants to know when this type of thing happens, but I can’t make a compelling enough argument for why that would be a good idea. She needs to live in blissful ignorance along with everyone else. What would she even say to that? I stand up and begin pacing from one side of the room to the other, trying to keep my composure before Yuri arrives. I notice my open bedroom door and walk over to shut it, trying to force the images to stay behind closed doors. I know I’ll have to face it eventually, but I don’t want to deal with it right now. 

 

It never happened, you know. There’s nothing to worry about, because it never happened. That rage you felt, everything that you remember never happened. It’s as relevant as a bad dream. All of it was just a bad dream, so there’s no need to worry the girls about it.

 

If I could glare at my thoughts I would. I know that it never happened in this reality, but it’s still burned into my mind. The smell of his blood is still etched into my nostrils. Saying that it never happened would be the understatement of the year, but right now I have bigger and better things to worry about. 

 

A knock on the door snaps me out of my thought process. “M-M-Monika...? Are you home?” Thank you for showing up, Yuri! I really needed you....

 

“Y-Yeah! Give me just a sec.” I sprint over to the door, leaping over my coffee table in the process. I grab the doorknob and throw open the door, pulling Yuri inside and hugging her in one fluid motion. She lets out a small squeak of surprise as I practically drag her inside. I slam the door behind her and wrap my arms around her in a tight hug, never wanting to let go of this moment of pure bliss. I press my lips to her ear and then her cheek, trailing kisses down to her lips. I slide my hands from her waist up to her face, gently cupping her cheeks in my hands as our lips meld together in a sweet, blissful kiss. I feel her cheeks heat up in my hands and her arms wind around my neck, pulling me closer to her. I break the kiss but leave my lips millimeters from hers. “I love you, Yuri. I love you more than any set of words can allow me to convey.” 

 

My eyes widen in shock and my mouth widens slightly. Did I just tell Yuri that I love her? Aw hell. It’s too soon! What if she doesn’t feel the same way, or what if she thinks that I’m trying to move too fast? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  _ Fuck.  _ Why did I just do that? What if-

 

Before I allow my thoughts to run wild too much longer, Yuri places a kiss on my lips. It’s short and chaste, not like Yuri at all. “Was this what you were trying to tell me in the club?” She has a playful smirk on her lips and a twinkle in her eyes. My god, I really do love this woman. I can’t form any words to say in response, so I just nod. Very smooth, Monika. 

 

She giggles before running her fingers through my hair and kissing me again. This time there’s more passion behind it, like she’s trying to wordlessly tell me something. When she pulls away this time she starts to idly play with my hair as she stares into my eyes. “I bet you’re wondering how I feel too.... Right?” Um.... Yeah. “She leans in as if she’s going to give me another kiss, but before our lips meet she stops, pressing the tip of her nose to my own. Her breathing is just a bit heavier than usual, and her breath smells like peppermint. Her cheeks are the same color as the Merlot she tried serve to the club. This moment feels as if it’s lasting forever, seconds tick by as if they were hours. Finally she gets through with torturing me and tell me what I’ve been dying to hear. “I love you too, Monika.” 

 

She leans forward the last few millimeters to close the distance between us. Her thumbs gently brush over my ears and I finally feel relaxed. The only thing that can break us from this embrace is the knock on the door from our fellow club members. 

 

Ah, there’s the knock on the door from our fellow club members. Yuri and I break the kiss, only a small strand of shared saliva joins us once we begin to pull apart. I hurriedly throw my hair back up into its signature ponytail before answering the door. Yuri seems to be dazed, but that’s ok. I quickly walk to the door and open it to allow my friends entry to my home. Before I can vocalize any sort of greeting, Sayori is jumping at me to swallow me in a bear hug with her arms around my neck and her legs wrapped around my waist. Natsuki begins howling with laughter, doubling over and trying to catch her breath at my dismay. 

 

“I.... Missed you too.... Sayori....” I collapse backwards over the arm of my couch as I lose all balance. I open my mouth to say something else, but before I can Sayori has already lunged at Yuri to give her the same treatment. I quickly get up off the couch and scurry to close the door behind Natsuki, remembering to lock every lock available. I offer a quick hug to Natsuki, who acts reluctant to my affection, but she quickly relaxes in my arms. I smile to myself as I notice how she smells like lemon cake. I’m not sure how she constantly smells like a bakery, but it’s pleasant and welcoming.

 

I peek over Natsuki’s shoulder and chuckle softly at Yuri’s plight. Natsuki shrugs me off of her so she can turn around and witness Sayori pawing at Yuri’s bust. “H-Hey! We all know Yuri pads, you don’t need to go grabbing at them to be sure!” Am I detecting a twinge of jealousy in Natsuki’s voice? Is she jealous of Sayori or Yuri at this moment? I push that thought to the back of my mind when Yuri’s face lights up with an embarrassed blush. She opens her mouth to say something but I jump in to try to defuse the situation.

 

“So, guys! Are we ready to get this party started?” I keep a smile on my face and situate myself between Yuri and Natsuki to try and break the tension. Sayori’s eyes light up at the mention of the party starting. Her grin is enough to ease the tension between Natsuki and Yuri, and they all relax into various seats around the living room. I elect to sit beside Yuri on the couch and listen to Sayori ramble for a minute before there’s a sharp knocking on the door. I twist my neck to see the door, and listen for any noises to signify who may be at the door. Sayori immediately quiets down after noticing my stiff posture. 

 

“Monika?! Please open up.... I need to talk to you.” I quickly make eye contact with all of my roommates, silently telling them to keep quiet. Subconsciously I grab onto Yuri’s arm and lean in to her shoulder. She flinches when the knocking starts again, but louder and angrier this time. “Monika, open the damn door! Let me talk to you.” I hear the doorknob start to rustles, so I stand up and motion for everyone to follow me into my parent’s room. I silently close and lock the door behind us, hoping that the front door is enough to keep him out. I begin ushering the girls into the bathroom, to close and lock that door as well. I pull out my phone and dial 110 to get in contact with the police station. 

 

I begin to whisper into the phone. “Hello, someone’s trying to break into my home. I live in the Benibara apartments, 8th floor, room 813. Please hurry!” I immediately shut my phone off and nudge my friends into the bathtub so I can close the curtain and hide us. I close my eyes and steady my breathing, my heart feels as if it’s going to pound out of my chest. The only thing I’m worried about at this moment is that he can hear my heartbeat. Judging by the fruitless pounding outside of the bathroom, I’m guessing he’s still not inside. With Yuri behind me, and Natsuki and Sayori in front of me, I slide my right arm around my two smaller club members, and hold Yuri’s hand with my left. I can feel my club members trembling against me.

 

I try to be the rock they need. Someone to keep them calm in stressing situations. I don’t know how to tell them that they aren’t even a possible target in this scenario, that he only wants me. A million thoughts are screaming at me about how I should’ve given myself up so they can hide and, and he wouldn’t even care that they’re here. I tell all the voices to shove off. As I get a new wave of confidence, I lean back into Yuri and tightly hug my younger club members. I kiss them both on the top of the head, and then crane my neck to kiss Yuri on the cheek. With everyone so close to me I feel safe whispering to them softly. “We’re all going to be ok, the police are almost here, and they’re going to take him away from us.”

 

In an act of what can only be considered Divine Intervention, I hear the sirens nearing our location. I breathe a sigh of relief and allow tears to begin streaming down my face. My entire body starts to shake as the stress on my shoulders begins to fade. I think Jeorge heard the sirens as well, because the pounding on my door stopped. As I get curious about his whereabouts I listen closer for any indication that he may still be here. After just a few moments a loud slam on the door makes me, and the other club members jump. I clamp my hands over the mouths of Natsuki and Sayori to make sure they stay quiet. Is this ass trying to kick the door down? 

 

After that kick I hear a lot of screaming from several different voices. I strain to hear the words being spoken, but quickly decide to ignore the fact that there’s talking that I don’t understand. Instead I just feel grateful that the police are finally here to help get rid of this guy. I feel Yuri wrap her arms around me and nuzzle her face into my neck, seemingly trying to help me fully relax. She places several small kisses on my shoulders and neck, moving up to my ear to whisper softly into it. “I love you Monika, and I’m so happy that we got to spend these months together....” She seems hesitant to say anything further, but I’m happy with what she told me just now so I decide not to press her for anything more.

 

We wait in silence for another what seemed like ten minutes. Long enough for the police to pull Jared away from the apartment, and to get the manager to open the door for the officers to come look for us. As soon as the front door opens, I open the bathroom door and cautiously move to the bedroom door to unlock that as well. I leave the other girls in the bathroom to wait it out until the police leave, unless the officers want to speak to them as well. 

 

“It was a good thing you called us when you did. He was trying to smash the door down when we made it up the stairs.” I take a good look at the officer standing in front of me and take note of his appearance. He’s a tall man with salt and pepper hair, full cheeks, and a goatee. I feel like this may come in handy later, if I get called to the police station. “Well, are you doing alright? I know this is a rough thing to deal with, but maybe you should call up some friends and ask them to spend the night. I might make you feel a bit safer than if you stay home alone. Speaking of, where are your parents?

 

“My friends are here, actually, but I really appreciate the concern of me being here alone. As for my parents.... I’m not quite sure where they are. The last time I spoke to them they were working in Canada, but that was a few months ago. I don’t know where they are now....” I think back to the failed phone call just a couple hours ago, and I glance down at the floor. 

 

A light blush crosses his cheeks as he flusteredly tries to make out an apology. “W-Would you like us to post an officer here, just to be safe?” He sounds almost passive with his offer, with a small twinge of.... Hope? 

 

“No, thank you. I feel confident that we’re safe here as long as that guy’s locked up. Thank you for the offer though.” He gives me a single nod and walks out of the front door, locking it behind him. I feel relieved as soon as all of the officers are gone. Tomorrow I’m going to ask that the manager move me to a different apartment. It’s not like moving will be hard; I don’t really have many material possessions. 

 

I begin to walk back to the bathroom to let the girls know that it’s safe to come out. “Hey, guys.... It’s all good. You can come on out now.” I can’t muster enough energy to sound enthused. The whole weekend has been ruined, all because of some psychotic guy that’s obsessed with me. “So, I know that if you guys aren’t excited to be here anymore, and I understand if you’d rather go home.... This has been a rough start to this weekend.” I peek my head into the bathroom and all three of my club members are mid-stretch, staring at me as if I just grew a second head.

 

Natsuki was the first to pipe up. “I-I don’t wanna go back home.... If it’s ok with you. I mean, we had a bumpy start, but we have the whole weekend to forget about it.” She steps out of the tub and walks toward me, only to hug me when she stands in front of me. This is very.... Uncharacteristic of Natsuki. Usually she hates to touch people, least of all me. When she pulls away from me she has tears in her eyes that she’s trying to fight. “Please let me stay for the weekend....” Her voice cracks and turns into a barely audible whisper through the course of the sentence and my heart breaks at her uncharacteristic display of heartache. I pull her in to another deep hug and nod.

 

“If you guys wanna stay, you can. I’m not going to make you leave if you don’t want to.” I can hear Natsuki’s muffled sniffles and feel her hands grasping at my blouse in a soft plea. I gently run my fingers through her hair to try to calm her down. Sayori and Yuri hurry over to hug our youngest member. 

 

Sayori looks into my eyes, almost trying to stare into my soul. “Can I stay too, Moni? I really need this weekend with you guys.” I can’t ever refuse Sayori when she’s staring at me with those big puppy-dog eyes. Not like I’d refuse her request in this instance anyway, but in general she gets pretty much whatever she wants with those big blue eyes.

 

I ruffle her hair, messing up her bow even more. She doesn’t seem to mind though, she actually giggles in response. “Of course you can. All of you can stay, if that’s really what you want. I just want you to be sure that you guys really want to be here, not for my sake but because it’s really what you want. I pull back from the group hug to see the beaming faces of my club members. “All right, if that’s what you want then I want you guys to make yourselves at home. The night’s still early, so we can still have a lot of fun!” 

 

I turn to lead them all back to the living room, as I take a step through the doorway I hear Natsuki calling out after me. “Hey, Monika! Truth or dare?” Geez. This is going to be a long night already. I can feel it. At least I can say that I’m not dreading it. I’m actually really looking forward to spending this time with my friends, even if it is playing games like Truth or Dare.

 

I turn my head to look back over my shoulder into Natsuki’s fuchsia eyes. “Dare.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is where the actual story starts. I hope you guys enjoy from this point forward!


	7. The Gift That Stops At Monika

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long. School has been taking up most of my time, but to make it up to you guys I wanted to make this chapter longer than normal. 
> 
> Also, happy birthday to DDLC. I hope you guys like the "present" in this chapter ;)

Truth or dare? I’ve never played before. Granted, I’ve never really had the friends to play before, but even then I always figured the game was too juvenile to take seriously. I look down at the top of Natsuki’s head and immediately know that the gears are turning in her brain to find a dare suitable for Monika. She gives her finger a quick snap and snickers. “I dare you to crank call the principal!” Natsuki sits in her seat, across from the couch on the other side of the coffee table. As I pass by her I see the victorious grin she likes to make before she eventually gets shown up for one reason or another. You’d think at this point she’d find a different expression to make, especially since she’s dealing with Monika for this one.

 

I take my seat next to Monika on the couch, and Sayori sits in the seat farthest from the door and closest to the kitchen. I look over to Monika to see the unimpressed look in her eyes. I can tell that she’s not happy to do this dare, but she’s fearless enough to actually take it on. Or maybe she just doesn’t figure there’ll be any consequences to deal with. Either way,she decides to take the dare and reaches into her pocket to pull out her phone, but before she can type in the number I decide to stop her for a quick moment. I’d like to know the regulations, since I’m so unfamiliar with the game. “W-What are the rules that we’re going to set for this? I mean, are we keeping it at a PG rating?” I idly play with my hair, hoping that my club members don’t think my question is too strange. They might think that I’m too prudish to be included....

 

The question hangs in the air for a moment before Natsuki bursts out laughing. Between her bursts of uproarious laughter she manages to get words out. “P-PG rules? Hell no! _Anything_ is fair game, and if you refuse to tell the truth or do the dare then you _gotta_ take something off.” She widened her smug grin, staring at me for a moment and then turned her attention back to Monika. “With that knowledge, Moni, are you gonna call the principal or take something off?”

 

I feel a deep blush cross my face at the thought of Monika stripping in front of our friends, but I wait to hear her answer. “Do you really think I’m gonna shy away from a dare that easy? I’ll save my clothes for bigger and better truths and dares. “Monika quickly looks up the number for the principal and dials the set of numbers she finds. I glance over at Natsuki who’s trying to hold back her laughter, and then I turn to Sayori who just looks worried. Finally the principal picks up and Monika lowers her voice by a few octaves to speak to him. “Hello, is your refrigerator running?” I don’t have the heart to tell her that the voice she chose is ridiculous, but rather I decide to just let her finish her dare.

 

She looks around the room and smirks at all of us before her smile quickly fades. “.... Oh, your refrigerator’s broken?” Her voice slowly starts to rise back up to its normal inflection in her state of confusion. She reaches up to put her hand on her cheek, allowing an exasperated look to cross her face. “Well.... Um.... You better go catch it?” Immediately after she finishes her words, she hangs up the phone, then she places her face in her hands to muffle her soft scream of besetment. “I should’ve picked something better....”

 

Natsuki begins howling with laughter at Monika’s distress, she doubles over and puts a closed fist over her mouth to try to muffle her laughter, but it was of no avail. Sayori chimes in with her lively giggles. “Don’t worry Monika, we all have prank go wrong every once in a while! It’s ok! But it means that it’s your turn now.”

 

Sayori’s words resonate within Monika, quickly making her forget about the anguish she was just feeling, and she perks up at the mention of it being her turn. She grins from ear to ear at Sayori. “Sayori! Thank you for volunteering, truth or dare?” I can tell she has something convoluted that she’s working on, but I’m not sure what it is. She leans forward and sets her chin on her laced fingers. I’m not sure why she enjoys that pose so much, but she’s being doing it a lot recently. Whenever she strikes _The Pose_ she stays completely motionless until she gets the response she’s seeking, and it her very own ‘Monika’ fashion she stays stationary as Sayori thinks of a good response to the question.

 

Sayori pouts her lower lip as she thinks this over, as if it’s a life altering decision. She leans back into her seat and rubs her chin in contemplation, acting as if there’s a beard settled upon her smooth cheeks. After several moments in intense silence, she finally makes a decision. “I guess.... Truth?” She looks frustrated by her decision, but doesn’t try to change it. “Yeah, truth. I have nothing to hide!” She looks triumphant with her decision. I’m sure she knows that she’s playing it safe, but Monika’s posture and smile are unsettling. I know that any choice could be a bad one, depending on how hard Monika wants to play.

 

Monika leans back into the couch and crosses her arms, her smirk never wavering as she shifts positions. She doesn’t even blink before fulfilling Sayori’s request. “Have you ever hit second base with anyone?” Natsuki and I have the same slack-jawed, deer-in-headlights expression upon hearing Monika’s question. I look back over at her to see her arms crossed across her chest with a victorious smile splayed across her lips. I’m not sure what she stands to gain from this, but then again I may just be looking for something that isn’t there. Not everything requires a purpose, so maybe I shouldn’t always be looking for one.

 

While I was lost in thought, Sayori began chuckling nervously. Her face lit up red and she pressed her fingertips together. I came out of my zoned out trance to listen to what she has to say. “S-Second base? What do you mean?” Her face turns an even brighter shade of red as her nerves start to become turbulent. “Like in kickball?” A nervous smile spreads across her face as she tries to deny any knowledge of what Monika is talking about.

 

Monika’s sinister smirk becomes a devious smile the more she listens to Sayori deny her understanding of the subject matter. Sayori fiddles with her fingers and looks away from Monika’s haunting stare. “I’m not talking about any sort of sport, Sayo. I think you know what I’m talking about but you’re just trying to play innocent. So, you have the option: either answer the question, or take something off.” Damn. Her time in the debate club really served her well. She’s scary with how well she can take apart anyone’s argument, but that’s just her personality. She’s intense and scary, and that’s easily the thing that indisputably made me fall for her.

 

Sayori sighs softly and hangs her head a bit, just enough that if you weren’t paying attention then you wouldn’t notice. “No.... I’ve never done anything. I’ve never even kissed anyone. I know that I’m probably the only one here that’s like that, so go ahead and make some jokes....” Monika’s smile is gone from her face. She looks as if she regrets asking the question, after seeing Sayori’s sad demeanor. I think she was expecting more of a fight, or possibly a story about how she’s absolutely gone to second base.

 

Most of Sayori’s blush fades from her cheeks, but a remnant remains from embarrassment. Natsuki is the first to speak after Sayori’s short monologue. “You’re not the only one that hasn’t done anything.... I haven’t.... Also I’m pretty sure the only person Yuri has ever kissed is that Markov guy from her book, and Monika just kisses teacher’s asses.” I feel blood rush to my face and I open my mouth in protest, but decide to hold my tongue when I hear Sayori start giggling. I don’t want to ruin whatever image just popped into her head.... It’s probably me kissing my book. In any case, her happiness is important to me so I let her imagine whatever it is that comes to her mind. I glance over to Monika, who’s staring at me with an eyebrow quirked and a smile on her face. It isn’t malicious like the one she had for Sayori, but more content with a sprinkle of amusement.

 

As Sayori calms her giggles she turns to Natsuki. “Ok Nat, your turn. Truth or dare?” Natsuki grins, baring her sharp teeth. She crosses her arms over her puffed up chest and snickers.

 

“Do I look like a wimp to you? Dare!” Natsuki’s squeaky voice echoes through the room for only a moment before Sayori comes up with a dare.

 

Sayori, despite being a very innocent person, has a devilish streak that runs through her. If I had to estimate the size of the streak, I’d guess that it was a little under kilometer wide. I know she doesn’t mean any harm by being mischievous, but at the same time she certainly knows how to do it well. As the gears in her mind turn, she has a light blush dusting across her cheeks. She breaks the short silence with a loud and excited squeal. “Natsuki, I dare you to kiss Monika!”

 

As the words hang in the air, everyone holds their breath. Monika stares forward at Natsuki, almost giving her a mental dare, telling not to try the kiss. I turn toward Natsuki to find her jaw dropped at the sudden challenge. She looks like she’s trying to figure out the best course of action, either deal with Monika or deal with being taunted for backing down. Meanwhile Sayori is trying to hold back giggles, caught up in her own little moment of giving out a ‘good dare’. I don’t think she understands the gravity of the situation she just put on the group, but at the moment I don’t think she really cares. Everyone except for Sayori stays silent for what feels like an eternity. The situation weighs heavy on the air around us, and for several painstaking moments none of us are brave enough to break the tension.  
  
Natsuki, not about to be shown up or flustered in the first round, stands up and marches over to Monika. Monika’s death glare becomes harder with every step Natsuki takes toward her. As soon as our pink haired friend stands in front of my girlfriend, she leans down, staring into the emerald eyes in front of her. Sayori quickly quiets herself and waits with childish curiosity as Natsuki decides if this is really the choice she wants to make. We can all feel the existential crisis she’s currently going through, and trying to decide if this is really the path she wants to blaze for herself. She puts her hands on the cushion beside Monika to steady herself. “Uh.... Sorry.” Natsuki leans down and quickly pecks Monika on the lips before running back to her seat across from us.  
  
Natsuki glares back at Sayori, who now has wide eyes and a pink blush across her cheeks from what she just witnessed. Natsuki, however, has bright red splattered across her cheeks, and she refuses to look anyone in the eyes. Her eyebrows are furrowed with displeasure from what she just had to endure. She glares harshly at the front door and crosses her arms across her chest. I slowly turn my gaze to Monika, who has a blank stare on her face. I was expecting her to have some sort of reaction to the event that just transpired, but she seems to be completely calm. I can only guess that she’s planning revenge, I’m just not sure if it’s toward Sayori or Natsuki. I’d be scared if I were either one in that situation, but I’m also sure she’s not happy that I didn’t try to stop the dare either.  
  
“That was beautiful....” Sayori’s soft voice breaks the silence hanging in the air. “You two are so cute!” We all turn toward Sayori, uncomfortable for our own reasons. I wonder if Sayori knows the situation she just put everyone in, or if she truly just thinks that Natsuki and Moni would make a good couple. Judging solely based off of her ecstatic grin, I’d say she probably thinks they’d make a good couple.  
  
Natsuki chuckles nervously for a moment after Sayori finishes speaking. “I wouldn’t say that, Sayo.... Monika’s a little too.... Kamidere for me. I like someone who’s a little bit less intense.” She tries to laugh off Sayori’s comments and slowly ease the tension in the room up. She manages to get a few chuckles out, which just end up sounding like she’s trying to clear her throat. “I guess it’s my turn again.... Uh.... Yuri! Truth or dare?”

 

I never really expected to be next, but I suppose it’s fitting since I’m the only one that hasn’t had a turn yet. Which option do I want to go with though...? I could be courageous and take a dare, but given that this group hasn’t been kind with dares today, that might not be wise. Alternately, I could take a truth and play it safe, but possibly face backlash from my friends.... Fuck it. I’m going with the safe option. I don’t trust Natsuki enough to give me something easy for my first dare anyway, so maybe she’ll go easier on me with a truth. At least, that’s what I’m hoping for. “I-I guess I’ll go with truth....” It can’t be any worse than the truth Monika asked of Sayori, so I’ve got that going for me.

 

Natsuki grinned at me from ear to ear, as if she was expecting me to say ‘truth’. What could she have planned for me that’s worse than Monika’s question? “Alright Yuri. I know you like to think that you’re going for the safest route, but you should know that Truths can be just as rough as Dares, even if you don’t have to get up and do stuff.” At this point she’s just monologuing for the sake of monologuing. I don’t believe for a second that she can come up with something that can seriously hinder me. “So, Yuri.... When was the last time that you.... Ahem.... Took care of yourself?” She folds her arms across her chest triumphantly as if she just came up with a life altering question that I won’t know how to answer.

 

That question, however, is.... Very open to interpretation. I’m not sure exactly what she means by that, and I think everyone else is just as confused as I am. “Natsuki.... Could you elaborate what you m-mean by that? It’s kind of.... An open question.” I slip my fingers into my hair and play with the ends to help soothe my nerves until she elaborates. Hopefully she isn’t asking about my knives....

 

Natsuki stares into my eyes, vexatiousness swimming in her fuchsia irises. “Are you really gonna make me spell it out for you, Yuri? I always thought you were the smartest one in the club and could figure anything out.” She situates herself further back into the chair and pulls her legs up to cross them beneath her. “.... Fine, if you don’t get it, then I’ll be more blunt with you. When’s the last time you played with yourself?” Her expression changes from a look of triumph to one of plain annoyance.  
  
“N-Natsuki.... That isn’t.... I-It’s not.... Why are you a-asking that?” I can’t even keep control over my stutter at this point. Her question prods at my brain while here eyes bore holes straight through my soul. It really isn’t any of her business what I do with my spare time, or what I use my spare time doing. I glance between Monika and Sayori, hoping that one of them will step in and save me from this situation, but both of them stay completely silent. I feel a thin sheen of sweat coat my body as I try to prepare to answer this question.  


Natsuki stares at me with a faint blush dusted across her cheeks. “It doesn’t matter _why_ I’m asking. The only thing that matters is the fact that you chose to answer a question, and I gave you one to answer.” She quickly looks as if she’s stuck between regretting asking her question, and really wanting to know the answer for some reason. “Just answer it already, or take something off. Geez.”

 

I guess I really don’t have a choice in this matter I have to answer this question or take off a piece of clothing. My shoes are already gone, as I left them by the door earlier. I don’t think Natsuki would allow a sock to be sufficient, so my only options are my sweater and my pants.... Neither one of those is a good option. Of course, answering the question isn’t any better. ”I.... Um.... Don’t?” I know my lying skills aren’t great, but maybe she’ll buy it.

 

Natsuki glares at me, her eyes are cold and unwavering. “Do you seriously expect me to buy that?” Oh, well, maybe she won’t buy it after all. “ Yuri, the point of the game is to tell truths that you don’t wanna say, and do dares that you don’t wanna do. If you wanna play, you have to play by the rules. Each of us has already done something we don’t wanna do, and now it’s your turn. So what’s the real truth?” She folds her arms across her chest with a huff and pouts her lip at me expectantly. I guess I really don’t have much of a choice in this matter....  
  
I cast my gaze to the cushion I’m sitting on and try to gain the courage and willpower to put my thoughts together into cohesive sentences. “Mmmm....” I reach down to play with the hem of my sweater, and I find that it doesn’t help nearly as much as playing with my hair. I can feel the blood rushing to my face to create a furious blush across my cheeks. There’s no getting out of this situation, so I need to just handle it. Right? “E-Earlier today....” There. It’s not a lie, and still not enough information that it could ruin my reputation with the club.

 

Natsuki’s devilish smile creeps back onto her lips before I can say anything further. “Yeah, that’s all well and good, Yuri.... That still doesn’t quite answer the question though. There was a lot of today that’s gone by, in fact we only have four more hours left in the day. I’d like you to be more specific.”  
  
My eyes widen in shock from Natsuki’s request. More specific? She can’t be serious, can she? Why does she even care in the first place? I subconsciously grab my hair and zone out for a few seconds to continue thinking about my options. “Or....” I refocus my attention to Natsuki as she starts to speak. “Or, you could leave the Truth as it is, and take a Dare.” At this point I’d do just about anything to get out of this question. I briefly think about sticking with the truth, but decide to accept Natsuki’s offer and switch to a dare.  
  
I nod slightly, not allowing myself enough time to back down from the decision that I’m making. Impulsive decisions have never been especially good to me, but I feel like there’s not a dare that Natsuki could give that’s any worse than the Truth she asked of me. The grin she flashes at me makes me immediately change my mind on the subject. Apparently there _are_ worse dares that she can ask me to do.  
  
“This might be unoriginal, but it’s a good dare no matter what!” Natsuki’s eyes quickly flick between looking at me, looking at Sayori, and looking at Monika. “Are you ready, Yuri?” She asks this as if I haven’t been waiting for her to say the damn dare for the last several minutes already. “I dare you to kiss Monika!”  


My breath hitches in my throat. I’d be ok with kissing her if our other two club members weren’t here.... I don’t know that I’ll be able to control myself with just a kiss. They can’t know that we’re together, and with how quickly things heated up between us in the club room earlier today, I know that they’re going to know something if we kiss now. “I-I.... Hmmmm....”

 

I swallow hard and lean over to Monika. My lips hover over hers, feeling her cool breath cascade over my cheeks. I take a few shallow breaths and lean down to brush my lips over her smooth, soft ones, savoring the taste of peppermint and lavender lingering on her mouth. I feel the deep burning desire pulsing through me, as if every drop of my blood is screaming her name. I glance into her eyes before I close them completely, her emerald irises burn deeply into my soul with the intensity of the sun. I reach over and place a hand on her hip as I try to meld my lips to hers. I can feel myself getting intoxicated from the taste of her tongue on my lips.

 

I slip my hand into her hair, as I do every time we get deep into our sessions, always coming up short of my destination when I reach her ponytail. My breathing becomes more laborious when she grabs my hair at the roots, pulling me deeper into the kiss. A soft moan wells in my throat when she pulls on my hair lightly. I gently nip at her lips and slide my hand down to the hem of her skirt to try to push my hand up under it. Before I can finish my exploration, her hand stops me as my fingers brush the leggings she has on. I know I’m pushing the boundaries, but I _need_ more of her. I need us to finish what we started in the clubroom earlier, at this point it’s more than just a basic ‘need’. The atoms in my body are all shaking, trembling against her with this carnal desire to be touched. I contort my body and end up pushing her against the couch with myself draping over her. I run my tongue along her lips and end up meeting her own tongue in a gentle battle for dominance.  
  
I hear something happening in the background of the room, but I decide to ignore it. “Guys...? Guys? Guys!” Monika pulls her lips away from mine and turns her head to look at Natsuki, who was apparently calling for our attention. I turn my attention to Natsuki and immediately notice how red her face is. It looks as if she lost a fight to a pot of spaghetti sauce, “Th-The dare was just a kiss.... You guys didn’t need to fully make out to win the dare. Anyway.... I guess it’s your turn, Yuri.”

 

I regretfully push myself off of Monika and sit back where I was originally. I glance over at Sayori, who’s trying to look away at some random object in a completely different direction than where I’m sitting. I softly clear my throat and turn towards Monika. “T-Truth or dare, Moni?” She stares at me with daggers in her eyes, almost daring me to continue with my train of thought. I’m not going to back down from this, and no amount of intimidation is going to make me change my mind. She’s going to get something thrown at her, I’m just not sure what it is yet.

 

With her glare piercing through me, she finally decides to speak. “I chose dare last time. Let’s go for truth this time.” Her voice sounds cold and haunting, echoing through the room, daring me to truly make a good question for her to answer. I rack my brain for something good to ask while simultaneously trying to make it seem like we aren’t a couple.

 

Wait. Why am I still trying to make it seem like we aren’t a couple. We literally just made out in front of our friends. Are we still concerned about them knowing after that?

 

I bare down on my teeth, trying to collect my thoughts enough to come up with a question, any question at all. Before I can stop to think about what I’m about to say, the words flow from my lips, cascading and diffusing into the room around us. “W-What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?” I stare into her eyes, making it clear that I’m determined to give her a challenge.

 

A calm smirk runs along her lips. “The most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done....” A soft chuckle bubbles up from her chest as she thinks about the question. Immediately I regret asking her to tell the truth about that. What if the most embarrassing thing she’s ever done is something with me? Well.... It’s too late to change my mind about it now. So if the most embarrassing thing she’s ever done was something with me, then I just have to accept it. I purse my lips and wait for her to speak and confirm my anxieties.

 

“You know, I’ve never thought about the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done.... If I had to take a guess....” Here it comes. I have to prepare myself for this. I have absolutely no idea how to, however. Every nerve in my body is tensing at just the thought of Monika telling me how embarrassed she is of me. I feel like I’m about to vomit from the anxiety vibrating through my bones. “If I had to take a guess, it would be the time I kicked a boy in the crotch. I didn’t really know the guy, so I had no reason to like or dislike him. I just walked up to him.... And _kicked_.... Right in the crotch.”

 

After finishing her statement, I take notice of Monika’s shy smile. I wasn’t expecting something so mundane to be her biggest embarrassment, but I suppose we all have surprises. I’m just glad that her biggest embarrassment didn’t have anything to do with me. The sound of laughter brings me out of my train of thought, and I look around to locate the source. Both Natsuki and Sayori are allowing jovial bursts of laughter come out. Natsuki quickly tries to sober herself before speaking, but can’t contain all of her laughter. “Y-You just kicked s-some guy in the sack?! Geez Moni, that’s beautiful!”

 

Monika smiles at Natsuki. “I think the reason that I’m actually really embarrassed by it is because of the fact that it happened in high school, rather than when I was a lot younger. I happened freshman year, and for some unknown reason I never got in trouble for it. It wasn’t like it was a private incident. I’m pretty sure half the school ended up seeing it happen.” As she speaks she smiles to herself, as if remembering this is some fond memory that she just now remembered after a long time of forgetting. Monika looks past Sayori, into the kitchen. Judging based on where she’s looking, I’d guess that she’s probably trying to check the time. “Guys, this has been a lot of fun, but it’s getting late and I have to turn in for the night. Feel free to keep the party going, but I’m gonna go to bed.”

 

I perk up upon hearing this, as it may be the chance to have some private time with Monika. “I-I’m also g-going to head to bed.” I stand up from the couch and look at Monika, waiting for her to give me the ‘ok’ that I can follow her to her room.

 

She smiles warmly at me and nods. “Perfect! I was going to ask if you minded crashing in my room anyway.” She turns towards Natsuki and Sayori, prepared to speak to them directly. “If you guys would like, you can sleep in my parent’s room while you’re here. It’s the room we went through earlier. The bed’s made and everything, and it’s a lot more comfortable than sleeping on the couch!”

 

Natsuki pouts at us as we get ready to leave the room. “Alright guys. You get a pass for sleeping early tonight because we had school and everything that happened earlier, but tomorrow we gotta stay up all night. Movies all day, and staying awake all night is part of what makes a sleepover great!” She crosses her arms and shoots a soft glare at us.

 

“Yeah!” Sayori finally speaks after a mostly silence through the game. “Tomorrow’s gonna be the best day ever!” She sends a grin to us and waves as we head toward Monika’s room. She smiles to Natsuki, as if she’s trying to diminish our youngest friend’s worries.

 

Monika leads me to her bedroom and waits for me to be fully inside before closing the door behind us. As soon as the door closes, I press my lips to Monika’s. I bring my hands to her hips and gently push her back against the door. Her hands find their way into my hair and push me deeper into the kiss. Before we can get too deep, she breaks the kiss and pushes me onto the bed. Staring at me with an intense desire, she crawls onto me and straddles my waist. She captures my lips between her own and pushes her tongue past my lips. I struggle to keep up with her actions, even with my own desire for her burning as hot as it is. I reach up to try to wrap my arms around her neck, but she stops me before I’m able to. She holds my wrists against the mattress and moves her lips to begin kissing my neck.

 

I gasp and choke on a moan that tries to escape my throat. It’s going to be rough to keep quiet while Monika is taking advantage of the situation like she is. She sits up and removes her hands from my wrists to remove the bow from her hair. Her ginger locks tumble around her, and settle with the ends brushing against her hips. “Give me your hands, Yuri.” I raise my hands up to her to allow her to do whatever she has in mind. She presses my hands together and wraps the ribbon around them, and secures them with a beautiful bow. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but one of my favorite hobbies is shopping for bows. Each one has its own person personality, and they can be really fun to explore.... My white one looks good on you, but I have a few others that I’d like for you to ‘try on’.” She giggles and gets off of me to rummage through her desk for more ribbon.

 

She returns with a full spool of dark ribbon after a short search in the drawers. “I think this one suits your personality a lot more than the white one, but before we can use it, you have to be in.... Less clothes.” She looks somewhat confused for just a moment. “I didn’t plan this out.... I’d need to untie your hands to undress your upper half.... Shit.” She holds the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger before untying the white ribbon on my wrists. I set my newly freed hands on the mattress and sit up. Before I can make it to a fully up position, Monika pushes me back down. “I only untied your hands so I can get you undressed. They’re going to be tied up again soon, don’t worry. What I need you to do now is shift yourself so your head is on the pillows.” She points to the pillows by the headboard of the bed to instruct me on where I need to be.

 

I shift and lay myself where she instructed me to be. I set my hands on my stomach to prepare for her next command. “L-Like this?” I can feel the blood rising to my cheeks as she nods with a wide grin spread across her face.

 

She sashays to the closet to look for something that I can’t see through the darkness. “Just.... Like.... That.” She rummages through the closet for only a moment before she finds what she’s looking for. “I hope you don’t mind that I bought a few things for us to use. I’ve been waiting for the right moment to bring them out and use them, and I feel like _this_ is the right moment.” She sets the objects at the foot of the bed, presumably to keep them out of my eyesight until she’s ready. “If anything gets to be too much, tell me.”

 

I feel a soft hand gently graze the skin of my stomach where my sweater meets my pants, and gently lift the bottom of my sweater up over my breast. The cool air of Monika’s room dances across my newly exposed flesh. Monika slides herself back on top of me, straddling me softer than before. Her hands slide up from the waist of my pants and settle on my bra. Her slender fingers begin to massage my well endowed chest, arousing the sensitive bud under each cup.

 

When did she get so good at this? Normally she’d just try to wrench every shred of clothing off of me immediately. This is a completely new side of her that I’ve never seen before, and suffice to say that I really enjoy it!

 

As her fingers continue their magic on my chest, her lips catch my own in a tender kiss. I push myself up enough to be able to finish removing my sweater. Once the top layer of my upper half is removed, Monika pushes me back down and breaks the kiss to whisper into my ear. “Let me do this part this time.” Her hands slide off of the cups of my bra and reach for the latches behind my back. She slowly lifts the bra off of my chest and tosses it off the bed. It hits the floor with a soft, but satisfying ‘whap’. “Can I have your hands again? I’m going to tie them to the headboard.”

 

I slide my hands up and grip the metal bars looming above me. She gently pushes my hands through the slots between the bars until my wrists are able to be tied together again. She repeats the same process as before when tying the ribbon. When the ribbon is tied securely, she moves herself down to straddle my hips. She reaches beside her to grab the spool of ribbon and cuts a piece about meter long from it. Without a word she places the ribbon across my eyes and ties it at the back of my head. “This isn’t the only piece of this ribbon that you’re going to be wearing tonight. This is just the first.” Once the ribbon is secured in place, she gets off of me to sit on her knees beside me.

 

I gasp when I feel her hand return to my breast and start to massage it again. Her second hand slides down my torso to reach the waist of my pants and unbutton them. I feel the zipper be lowered and graze my underwear. Her hand slips into the newly opened gap in my pants and slides against my dampened panties towards my burning core. She continues to massage my breast and tease me through my panties until I can feel my climax approaching. She stops her teasing right before I can get my release, and elects to finish pulling my pants off instead. “You don’t honestly think I’m going to let you get off that easy tonight, do you? Tonight is a reward, but also a punishment for getting so deep into that kiss earlier. I’m gonna tease you, taste you, and fuck you until you want to _scream_.... But you’re not gonna scream, because we have guests.”

 

I groan as the tension between my thighs grows. “What are the things you brought from the closet?” Her snicker quickly tells me that I shouldn’t have asked that. I should’ve just kept quiet with the treatment she was giving me. She slips my panties off of me, and it’s a bittersweet feeling of both relief from having my underwear no longer being constricting.... But it’s also adding a new layer to the torment by having the cool air hit my newly exposed body.

 

“Those are for later. Right now, I’m going to finish up with the ribbon before we move on to something else.” As if to exemplify her point, she reaches across me and picks the spool back up. For several minutes I feel her wrapping the ribbon around me, tying it in various places on my body. Judging based on feel alone, I’d guess that the ribbon tied around my thighs is also tied around waist; it’s keeping my legs spread apart. There’s also ribbon tied around my breasts, but I don’t think that serves an actual purpose except to be aesthetic. She reaches to the foot of the bed to grab one of the objects she pulled from the closet. I hear several clicks and something that sounds like the crunch of Velcro. Monika wraps something around my thigh and fastens it, confirming that it was, in fact, velcro. After a short few seconds of waiting, something small and slippery slides inside of the ribbon covering my opening, resting against my clitoris. Confusion hits me first, but soon melts away when the object begins vibrating against me. “Don’t get too comfortable. This is the lowest setting, and I don’t plan on stopping here.

 

I feel her warm, wet mouth wrap around one of my swollen nipples. She swirls her tongue around it and she gently tugs on it with her teeth. I grit my teeth to avoid moaning with the pleasure that’s being brought upon my body. “M-Monika.... How am I supposed to stay quiet with this...?”  Her lips slide off of my breast, but before I can get an answer, there’s a knock at the door.

 

She leans up to whisper in my ear. “Stay put. I’ll be right back.”I feel her slide across my body to get off the bed and walk to the door. When she opens it, I can hear Sayori’s voice chime through the room.

 

“Uh.... Natsuki and I were wondering if you had any food around.... We didn’t wanna just go looking around your house.” I tighten down on the muscles in my jaw to avoid making noise as the waves of an orgasm crash down onto me.

 

“Oh, yeah! There’s food in the fridge, and there’s other stuff in the cabinets above the stove. Help yourself to whatever you find!” My entire body tenses as the vibrations shoot through my overstimulated nerves without mercy.

 

“Wow! Really? Thanks Monika. We’ll see what we can find!” It feels like an eternity, and every second that ticks by makes it harder to contain the moans begging to escape. Monika, please hurry up and help me with this! It’s too much to handle. I feel like I’m going to break if I have to keep this on me any longer.

 

“No problem, Sayori! Have a good night.” Monika’s voice is sing-song which is kind of ironic given the current situation of things. I know you’re trying to be a polite host, but please hurry up!

 

“Hey, Moni.... Do you hear something buzzing?” _Shit!_ She knows something’s up. She’s going to find out about us.... God.... She’s going to see me like _this._ Bound, blindfolded, and with a sex toy between my legs. She isn’t just going to find out about us, she’s going to be _scarred_ for _life._

 

“Oh.... Yeah. That’s just my phone. Maybe my parents are trying to get ahold of me or something.” Thank you for coming up with a lie, Monika.... Now _please_ get Sayori to leave, and come back here and _fix this._

 

“Oh.... Ok, Monika. Don’t miss a call from them on account of me! Good night.” Good.... She’s gone. I hear the door close, and Monika’s steps towards me.

 

I can hear the smile in her voice when she starts speaking to me. “You know, I bet that must’ve been torture.... Let’s see what else we can do tonight that’ll be even more _torturous_....” Her soft chuckle echoes through my ears as she walks back toward me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, I hope you've enjoyed the story thus far. I'd like to work on some other Doki works while writing this. They'd take place in the same universe, but just happen at a different time than what's happening currently. I'd like to give the characters their own individual background, working with what Dan Salvato gave us in canon, but extending it further. 
> 
> However, I'd like some feedback from you guys as well to get an idea of what I can do to make your writing experience more enjoyable! So, with that in mind, I'd like to give you guys some polls. 
> 
> 1, Which girl would you like to read more about?
> 
> 2, When do you want Monika and Yuri to get caught? Sooner or later?
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading my story, and I hope you all enjoy the upcoming work as well!


	8. It's Hard to Keep Up When Your Mind Is Moving About a Kilometer a Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayori and Natsuki spend some much needed time together to strengthen their bond.

“Natsukiiii! Moni said we have free reign of the kitchen, so let’s get some food!” As I walk away from Monika’s bedroom door I can hear soft mumbling voices on the other side. Monika must be enjoying her phone call with her parents; I know they don’t talk much.... I wonder why that is. Maybe they’re on the other side of the world and the time zones just don’t match for them to be able to communicate often.

 

“Thank god! I’m starving....” She’s got the biggest appetite of anyone I’ve ever met! She’s eaten an entire school lunch and then she ate anything anyone else would give her. She must eat roughly two meals worth of food every lunch period. Granted, I eat just about as much, but I’m a good bit bigger than she is. A growing girl needs to eat, I guess.

 

“Nat, you eat like my brother. He could eat an entire whale by himself and then be hungry again in a half hour!” I slide up behind her and wrap my arms around her delicate waist. The scent of her strawberry shampoo engulfs my senses. This situation makes me feel more safe than I ever have before; being in a friend’s house, being cuddled up to another friend.... It’s all very soothing to take in.

 

For some reason Natsuki tenses after a few moments of me holding onto her. “Let’s get some food, Sayo.... We have free reign of anything in the kitchen after all.” She gently pulls away from me and heads to the refrigerator. Once she gets a good look at the culinary options available, she looks shocked and disappointed with a small hint of anger.  “.... There’s got to be more in here than just vegetables! I know Monika’s whole thing is ‘being healthy’, but geez! There’s carrots and cheese sticks.... And broccoli. Maybe there’ll be something _actually_ edible in there. We need food with some _substance_ . Something tasty _and_ filling.”

 

She quickly scurries to the pantry to look for something sweet or salty, and probably carb loaded. I elect to stand back and let Natsuki go hunting for food. If there’s anything tasty and probably unhealthy within a kilometer, she’ll find it. “ _Dammit!_ ” Natsuki’s swears quickly tell me that there’s only health food over there. Probably something like bran. Bran’s healthy, right? I’ve always heard that bran muffins are healthy muffins.

 

.... What _is_ a bran?

 

I tap my fingers on the table and think for just a moment. “Hey, Suki.... Why don’t we just order food? Monika just keeps healthy food stocked here, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if we had like.... A pizza or something delivered here.” I walk over to my phone and look up a number for a pizza place around here. “Plus, it’s still early enough for them to deliver....”

 

I glance over at Natsuki, who has ceased her rummaging through the kitchen. “Pizza sounds really good!” She paused for a second while a look of minor agitation crossed her face. “.... But I don’t have any money to pay for it....” She looked down, looking as if she were embarrassed to say it.

 

Come to think of it, I don’t think I much money either. At least, not enough to pay for a pizza. I may have a few spare coins in my bag.... “Yeah.... I don’t think I have the money to buy pizza either.... I wonder if there’s any vending machines in this place, we could probably get something from there to eat. If there’s not a vending machine, then it looks like we’re eating vegetables and cheese sticks.”

 

Natsuki didn’t appear to really like either of those options, and I understand why. “Hey wait a minute, Sayo.... Wasn’t Yuri supposed to be bringing candy and stuff to this function?” Natsuki is absolutely right! Yuri was supposed to be bringing candy. Sweet, delicious, unhealthy candy!

 

Didn’t she take her bag into Monika’s room though?

 

“That sounds good, but I don’t think it’ll happen tonight. Yuri took her bag to Monika’s bedroom, and they’re probably trying to sleep now.... It would be rude to wake them up.” I sit on the couch and contemplate the idea of pizza again until another thought can come to mind. I stand up and start to pick through my bag, searching for something edible; literally anything that I can cram into my mouth that would taste somewhat like food.

 

.... Is that what I think it is? The Holy Grail of night time cravings! A twenty dollar bill that’s been crumpled, slightly torn, and has probably been in places that I’d never want to even begin to imagine. “‘Suki, we’re getting pizza!” I excitedly raise the bill above my head and wave it to show that we actually _do_ have the money to pay for this wonderful, greasy, amazing mistake to my digestive system. I see her eyes light up at the news that we’ll be able to afford dinner for the night and my heart flutters from the sight.

 

“Are you sure you wanna waste that money on pizza? It might come in handy later on....” The twinkle begins to fade from her eyes the more she thinks about the idea of getting food. “I mean, I’m not really able to pay you back for my half.” She crams her hands into her pockets and looks down at the floor.

 

Why is she so worried about paying me back? It’s a ten dollar pizza and I’d cover her half in an instant! “You really don’t need to worry about it. I’m happy to pay for it! We’re both hungry, so lemme buy it.... As long as we get to eat tonight, that’s a win in my book! I’m asking for your time, not your money, ‘Suki.” I can see her eyebrows furrow like she wants to argue, but the rumble from her stomach keeps her from saying anything.

 

I pull out my phone and dial the number for the closest pizza place. “Yes, can I get a large pepperoni pizza delivered to the Benibara Apartment complex? .... Thank you so much! .... Yes, I’ll have the payment ready when the delivery guy gets here. Thank you again!” I end the call and grin at Natsuki, showing that the deed is done. This is about to be the best pizza we’ve ever eaten! Best friend pizza is better than any other pizza that ever existed. It may not be made with love, but it’s eaten with it.

 

Natsuki softly smiles at me as I get off the phone. “Thank you, Sayo.” Her stomach grumbles, ready for the food to arrive as soon as possible. She places her hand over her stomach and blushes. “Sorry, I’m kinda hungry.... What should we do until the pizza gets here?” She sits on the couch and folds her arms across her chest.

 

I walk over to the couch and sit beside Natsuki. “I dunno, do you wanna talk? I feel like we haven’t really gotten the chance to talk recently, and with a lot of stuff happening all at once, I think it would be a good idea to talk it out. Y’know?” There really has been a lot going on lately, but I’m not quite sure where to start. It feels like our lives have been moving about a kilometer a second and I can’t really keep up.

 

She nodded silently before speaking. “Yeah.... Monika and Yuri have been acting weird lately. What’s up with them?”

  
  
“I dunno, but I think it’s good for them to spend the night in the same room. They’ve been pretty much avoiding each other at school, and I think they probably need to talk about what happened earlier.... That kiss was really intense.... I was a little jealous, you know?” I can feel myself starting to ramble, but I can’t stop myself from letting it flow out. “Not that I was jealous of either one of them in particular, I mean, they’re both really pretty.... But I’ve never had a kiss, and that was a really deep kiss for them to just be joking around....” I smile to myself and focus on a rogue string hanging from the hem of my shirt. “I’m happy for them.... I’d like to be able to just kiss someone, but I’m.... just....” I look up into Natsuki’s eyes. Have they always been that deep shade of fuschia? A better question, has she been this close to me since I sat down? “I’m just waiting for the right person....”

 

Her eyelashes flutter and she gingerly moves toward me, almost as if an air of caution surrounds her. Before I can fully assess the situation I feel her nose brush against my own, and her cool, minty breath cascades across my lips. I close my eyes as I feel her soft lips brush against my own, and I eagerly close the rest of the gap between us. I never realized that this was what kisses were supposed to feel like: soft, gentle, passionate.... I’d even go so far as to say breathtaking. In that instant it felt like every problem in the world vanished, and only Natsuki and I remained. I feel her warm hands stroke my cheeks in an attempt to wipe away the stray tears flowing from my eyes.

 

Why am I crying? This is the happiest, most at peace time that I’ve felt in years. Is this what ‘happy tears’ are? Maybe I’m just the type to cry when I feel strong emotions, which would make sense in this situation...? I’ll ask Monika or Yuri tomorrow.... Right now I just want to exist in this moment with Natuski and hope it never ends.

 

After what feels like an eternity, Natsuki pulls away from our embrace to rest her forehead against my own. I hear her gentle panting and smile to myself, realizing that the kiss had the same effect on her as it did to me.

 

When she finally catches her breath she pulls away from me to look me in the eyes. I notice a dark blush dusted across her cheeks. “There.... Now you can’t say that you haven’t kissed anyone.” A quick smirk dances across her lips and I can tell that she wants to say something else. She looks away, and I decide that I’m too tired to try and extract any information from her.

 

I wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me in a hug. “Thank you, Nat....” I press my lips to her cheek and to my surprise, she actually lets me without making a fuss in her usual tsundere style.

 

I must’ve completely lost track of time during that kiss, because while I have Natsuki in this awkward, affectionate hold I hear the someone knock at the door. I knew this pizza place was fast and close, but this delivery guy is really on top of his game! I pull away from Natsuki and quickly rush to the door to get this sweet ambrosia from the hands of the delivery guy. I can’t stop myself from grinning as I swing the door open. “Thank y-”.

 

“We’re home!” A small of chorus of masculine and feminine voices merge together as the door completely opens. I step back from the door to observe the strange people standing in the doorway of Monika’s apartment. I take a quick assessment of their traits. The woman has ginger brown hair with hazel eyes, while the man has dark brown hair with emerald eyes. They both look at Natsuki and I with curiosity and a small bit of fear in their eyes. The man is the first to speak after their announcement of return. “Neither one of you is our kid.... Who are you, and where’s Monika?”

 

I, still being too shocked to speak, decide to allow Natsuki to take the reins in this situation. She looks at me, and then back at the strangers in the house. “We’re her friends...? And she’s in her room, asleep.” Her words end up being more curt than I assume she meant them too, but that’s almost a defense mechanism for her. It keeps people from asking too many unnecessary questions that she doesn’t want to answer.

 

The woman, who claims to be Monika’s mother, speaks next. “Asleep? But it’s so early in the night! It’s not even midnight yet, and she’s always had difficulty sleeping....” She looks at the man briefly before speaking again. “We’re only here for a few hours. We should at least let her know that we’re here before we have to take off again.”

 

The man nods and they both make their way toward Monika’s bedroom door. I feel like I should stop them before they invade Monika’s personal space, but if they really are her parents then she’d probably want to see them. Apparently Natsuki has the same idea, because she gets up from the couch and follows them to Monika’s bedroom door. Unfortunately they stopped listening to anything we were saying. They must be really determined to see Monika while they’re here. I jog over to Natsuki, who’s standing behind the man and woman.

 

“Sir, please!” I can’t stop my voice from trembling as I speak to the man. “Monika is a very busy, very important person at our school!” He ignores my words and reaches for the door handle. “She’s an athlete, president of our club, and a straight A student! She’s tired and needs to sleep!” I nervously grab for Natsuki’s hand as the man throws open the bedroom door. Without missing a beat he reaches for the light switch.

 

“Monika! We’re h-h-h....” He pauses for a moment and I see his eyes widen and his jaw drop, I glance over his shoulder to find a startled Monika push herself away from a nude, bound, blindfolded, and gagged Yuri. Monika quickly covers herself and Yuri before we can see anything too risque, however several hickies and scratches are visible on her shoulders and arms, along with several bite marks on Yuri’s neck. She turns to look between us and Yuri, trying to quickly decide if she should untie our friend before she speaks. Her father breaks the uncomfortable silence before she has the chance to. “ _We’re home_ ”, he deadpans.

 

I can’t force myself to move away from the door. My body hasn’t gotten over the shock of them just randomly showing up, and now there’s a brand new wave of shock from seeing two of my best friends.... Like that. Natsuki gently pushes me away from the doorframe and pulls the door shut. I lean my back against the wall for support, and see Monika’s parents silently move to sit on the couch. We all sit in uncomfortable silence for several minutes until another knock on the door startles us all into awaking from the mass daze swirling in the room. Monika’s mother stands up to answer the door with a curious and tired expression painted on her face.

 

She pulls the door open to face the challenge standing on the other side. An unfamiliar male voice echoes through the living room.

 

“Pizza’s here!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for how long it took to get this chapter out to you guys. My life has been kind of hectic, and I got a bit burnt out on writing this story. The good news is that I've got other, mini stories headed your way! They all take place in this Doki universe, rather than the one that the game is set in. My plan is to give every Doki her own mini fic (3-5 chapters) to explain the headcanons and backstories I have for them. 
> 
> Thank you all for holding on to this fic. It really means a lot to me that you guys are enjoying being on this roller coaster of emotion, and I hope to start updating more regularly. You guys are really amazing, and I can't put into words how grateful I am that we've made it this far into this story!


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